Choosing authenticity means:
– Brene Brown, “The Gifts of Imperfection”
- nurturing the connection and sense of belonging that can only happen when we believe we are strong enough.
I describe myself as an extreme introvert.
Some people, especially in my professional life, are surprised when I say that because I’m good at playing an extrovert on TV. “Extreme introvert” invokes images of social anxiety, solitary life in the wilderness, and an outsider — an aversion to connection and belonging.
I certainly have felt that way at times. I’ve caught myself romanticizing about a simple life in the wilderness. Off the grid. Outside of the culture. I resonate on some level with the stories of people like Chris McCandless, Henry Thoreau, and even Ted Kaczynski.
But I’ve also found that my connections with others are the most significant and satisfying aspects of my life. My wife, kids, family, friends, church, and professional connections provide a fulfillment that could only come from a healthy sense of belonging.
In some very concrete ways, these connections describe my authentic self. They exist because I’ve nurtured them, and I nurture them because they form the foundation of how I see myself.
And when those connections shake, even if just a little bit, my ship starts to list. My belief wavers. My sense of who I am becomes foggy.
In those moments, the only thing that can right the ship is the recommitment to those to whom I belong. To once again recognize that I’ll find authenticity through nurturing connections.
