How To Handle When You Don’t Reach Your Goals
Many of the messages and mindset training I’ve been sharing have been extolling virtues of failing fast, failing often, and failing forward. I’ve also shared with you the importance of the racing mindset and setting goals. Ultimately, wandering through your days without specific objectives setup to help you achieve your vision will rarely allow you to move forward towards your vision. So you have goals and objectives, and you are taking the action, and then of course…inevitably, frequently even…you won’t be reaching your goals, because we are pushing for FAILURE. Maybe it happens with a daily, weekly, or monthly goal, or maybe its one of your long term goals. Regardless, you will miss the mark sometimes, and maybe frequently. But that’s OK, as long as you know how to handle it.
As a quick aside…Remember that for daily goals you should be focused on your work and your activity, not your results. Results are part of your big vision and the objectives that are stepping stones to reach that vision. You think about your vision, set objectives that mark the path to that vision, and then focus on the ACTIVITY that is required to reach those objectives, and ultimately your vision.
So how do you handle it when you DON’T reach those goals? How do you handle all of these failures and shortcomings, get your mind set straight, and still move forward?
Ask yourself 2 questions
The first thing to understand is that these are not ultimate failures unless you personally label them as such. As long as you are failing forward, then there is no ultimate failure. So how do you fail forward? You ask yourself these 2 questions:
- Was my expectation unrealistic?
- What can I learn from the situation?
Was my expectation unrealistic?
If you determine that your expectation was indeed unrealistic, then simply reset that expectation. Set new, more accurate goals, and then start working towards them. Here’s an example pulled directly from my day yesterday.
I had set a goal of reaching out to and connecting with 20 new people on social media. I had set that goal in the morning (as I do most of my daily goals) after looking at my calendar and thinking about the time I could allot to this activity. I arrived at 20 because I was fired up, and ready to roll (see this post for why). My method for reaching out and connecting is very personal in that I am not simply sending out form or copy/paste messages. I am thoughtful about with whom I try to connect and the message that I send to each person. The moral of this story is that it takes time. If it takes an average of 10 minutes to reach out to each person, that equates to needing over 3 hours of time to hit the goal of 20 people. I had not really worked that part out when I set my daily goal of 20. Well, as it turned out, I only had about 45 minutes of time that I could spend on this activity, which should have been 4 or 5 people. In reality, it was 3.
Looking back, my goal was unrealistic. I wasn’t going to have over 3 hours, no matter what kind of day I had. So I’ve reset my goals for today. Today’s goal is 5.
That’s NOT to say that you shouldn’t be shooting for “unrealistic” goals. You are a dreamer, you are shooting to make an impact, you can only become what you think you can, therefore, think you can be GREAT! Sometimes, however, adjustment is necessary. It is indeed an internal negotiation.
That’s how its done…reflect upon the realism of the expectation, and adjust accordingly.
What can I learn from the situation?
The cycle of ACTION -> FAIL -> LEARN -> REPEAT is the magical cycle that pushes you forward to your vision.
So learning is a big piece of this, and that’s all you do here. What can you learn from the situation to help you make adjustments for tomorrow? Take my situation above, for example. Not only did I need to reset my expectation, but I learned that given my method for reaching out, 20 in a day is only realistic on days on which I can commit over 3 hours to the activity. I don’t have many days like that. So what I’ve learned is that I either need to figure out how to be faster, or set my expectations according to the time I will have available.
I’ve learned how to improve my goal setting and what I need to work on today. I’ve reset my expectations more realistically. I’ve recommitted myself to reaching those new goals today. That’s how its done.
I hope this helped you in some way, and if so, please comment below, share it with others, and please connect with me. I would love to hear your thoughts and the experiences you’ve had as well.
Have a great day!
