As it turns out, it’s surprisingly simple.
Maybe not comfortable, though, which means it’s probably not easy. That’s always the rub, isn’t it?
The Promise of Mediocrity
In retrospect, I’ve spent most of my life trying not to stand out. Living life in the comfort zone. Trying to maximize my sameness, which is maximizing my mediocrity.
Sameness is comfortable. Mediocrity is comfortable. I love the comfort zone.
Do you remember this conversation:
“What made you choose him?”
“Well, I was just overwhelmed by how invisible he was. Just his shear mediocrity was hard to deny. It was so attractive.”
Me neither.
Yes, You Need to Stand Out
Want a promotion or a raise? You will need to stand out to your boss.
Want to sell your 2013 Honda Civic? Your post will need to standout amongst the 244 others on Craigslist.
Want to grow your business? Your message will need to stand out amongst your competition.
Want to win her heart? You will need to stand out amongst the 10 other dudes that also have great cars, great incomes, and great abs that are texting her.
Want to get the good assignment at work? You will need to stand out amongst your colleagues.
Want to build an audience and business around your blog? You will need to stand out amongst the 500 million other blogs.
The problem is that standing out is uncomfortable.
Standing Out in the Apple Store
Recently I was in an Apple Store a few times over the course of a week to get the keyboard in my laptop replaced.
I’m a veteran in the Apple Store, so I know what to expect. But walking in is always a little unnerving because I’m never quite sure what I’m supposed to do.
There’re people everywhere. There’s no counter or customer service desk or register at which to stand in line. There’s just a sea of customers and blue-shirted workers, all seemingly engaged.
Quite uncomfortable for this introvert. Sometimes I stand there for 20 minutes.
This time, however, I found an unknowing guide that has forever changed my Apple Store experience, and has taught me a life lesson in how to stand out.
As I was walking in for my first appointment that week, a man walked in in front of me. Actually, we got to the door simultaneously, and I held it for him, so he went in first.
Inside the door, there were 3 blue-shirts and a haphazard group of about 10 customers milling about in front of us. I did what I always do, hovered near the back of this pack, took out my phone and probably searched for “how to get waited on at an apple store“.
But I watched with amazement as this man found the correct blue-shirt guy, was checked-in, and redirected to a table to wait for help within 60 seconds.
Ten minutes later, after I waited my turn, and was finally checked in, I found myself standing next to him at our appointed table.
I floated outside of my introverted brain for just a second and summoned the courage to ask him, “How did you know that was our guy and get waited on so quickly?”
“I didn’t…but look around. What do you see?”
And he waited…and then continued when I had nothing.
“Every single customer in this store has their face buried in their device. The people waiting at the front, the people scanning the new products, the people waiting for service help…Including you.”
“Even the customers who are actually talking to someone. They’re talking with their faces buried in the device.”
“Knowing this, I simply walk in with my head up, and immediately make eye contact with and smile at the first worker I see inside the door.”
“Without breaking eye contact, I walk right around the group of people milling about and speak to that person. Most times this is the person who can check me in, but if its not, he or she just tells me who to go see, and then I repeat that process.”
I asked, “But don’t you feel bad about skipping the line?”
“Why? What line?”
“The people that you say are in line are not actually in line. There are no lines at an Apple Store. They are just standing there because they don’t know what to do. They saw a couple of other people standing there, so they followed.”
“Plus they are all looking at their phones, so most don’t even notice me. It’s easy to stand out here. Just don’t do the things that everyone else is doing.”
Huh…
On my next trip to the store a couple days later I walked right in, smiled at the first worker I saw, never broke eye contact, and was checked in within 60 seconds.
Lesson learned, tested, and set in stone.
Other Ways to Stand Out That You Didn’t Think Of
Here are a few other ways that work remarkably well in today’s culture. You can apply these and stand out at your work, in your business, in your marriage, with your kids, in your volunteer organization…wherever.
Be Patient
The internet, Wikipedia, Amazon Prime, Spotify, Netflix, text messaging, social media, laptops, smartphones…all amazing technologies and applications for which we are better off.
But they also trick you into feeling like everything should be immediate. If you’re not careful, you can slip into the trap of always making decisions based on instant gratification.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m the pot calling the kettle black on this one.
I’m currently moving some retirement funds from one provider to another. It HAS to be done through the US Mail, with envelopes, and paper, and forms with handwritten signatures. What year is this, 1992?
The process is currently at 5 weeks and counting. Are you kidding me? I can apply for, receive approval with a complete background check, and fund a brand new checking account with Capital One in less than 10 minutes. No papers necessary, including the transfer of funds into the account.
Here’s another one…
I’ve currently been waiting over 4 months for my Global Entry application to be accepted. Once accepted, who knows how long it will take to schedule the interview.
My trip was 2 months ago! I’m quite sure that the Global Entry program is able to meet its stated goal to “speed travelers through the process” by simply ignoring all applications.
So how will exhibiting some patience help you stand out?
What if you were willing to spend a few years mastering a skill or a set of skills?
In a negotiation, would you be willing to delay up front payment in order to reap more rewards on the backend?
Are you willing to do the tasks that no one else wants until the time is right?
Would you be willing to invest a small amount regularly over a long time?
Are you willing to wait for the right person?
Put Yourself On the Hook
Corporations and politics appear to promote those that have mastered the art of deflection of blame. So-called leaders moving up the ladder by taking credit after the fact, but never responsibility on the front end.
If you take a closer look, however, rarely do those who shun up-front responsibility make an impact.
Why? Because ultimately, we need to depend on someone.
We need leaders who have ideas and follow through. We need colleagues who are willing to try to solve problems. We need friends who can be counted upon. We need life partners who are committed to the long term.
But taking up-front responsibility is perilous. You risk emotional danger.
Taking that risk, however, is a great way to stand out in just about any situation.
It’s true, you may not be successful. You may have to take blame. Taking the blame is also a method for standing out.
Volunteer to make the phone calls.
Show up when you commit to be there.
Create and suggest ideas and solutions, not just point out problems.
Take sole blame for something that wasn’t necessarily your fault.
Commit to getting the job done by the end of the week.
The Lesson of How To Stand Out
It’s a 2-parter.
The first part is find a way to be different from everyone else around you. In the Apple Store, different is making eye contact, and not burying your face in a device.
For other parts of your life, maybe you can look different, sound different, say something different, think different, or act different. You may not need to be dramatically different, just a little.
The second is stop worrying about the phantom mob rules. In the Apple Store, there isn’t actually a line to stand in, so don’t stand in one.
To apply this elsewhere, maybe you don’t need a PhD, or another certification, or to wait for the yearly formal review process, or to ensure you meet all of the requirements on paper, or to submit a formal complaint, or to make more money, or have fancier clothes, or live in the right neighborhood, or to sit up front.
Standing out is uncomfortable, but actually quite simple.
