It’s not just willpower.
You might know the famous “Marshmallow Experiment,” but if not, go to YouTube and search for it. There are dozens of examples.
You’ll find lots of funny, antsy, and cringeworthy moments of pre-K kids trying to decide whether one marshmallow now is better than two in a few minutes.
The popular and original hypotheses from this experiment were centered on personal willpower. The kids who waited had more self-control, and that self-control predicted better life outcomes. Better grades, better jobs, better lives.
It’s a tidy, comforting story. Willpower equals success. Delay gratification and you’ll go farther. Plus, as parents, it’s a life skill we can model and teach our kids. Be patient.
As it turns out, however, maybe it’s not just about self-control.
It’s also about trust. Would the second marshmallow really show up? Would the adults actually keep their word? That single marshmallow sitting in front of them is a sure thing.
If a child has been disappointed by adults in their life, they’ll probably go with the sure thing.
It’s also the Powerball dilemma. $500M today, or $1B in annuity over time. But that’s not really a dilemma, is it? Neither is a choice between $5k today or $1B later. If you were deciding between $500k or $5M today and $1B later, maybe that’s a dilemma.
The point is that you have a price where the unknown future promise might be worth foregoing the sure thing now.
The real test isn’t about patience. It’s about belief.
Do you believe the promise of a future that’s worth waiting for?
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