We sometimes confuse trust with agreement. I know I’m guilty.
We erroneously think that because we agree with someone or some tribe, we can trust them. This also leads to the flip side: when we don’t agree with someone, we believe we can’t trust them.
We see it all over social media. Can we trust experts? Can we trust the politicians? Can we trust the media? But we’re really just asking if we agree with them
I once had two engineers on my team who disliked each other immensely. I spent many hours listening to each moan about how bad the other was and how “I can’t trust him.” Here’s the thing: each was a good engineer with a high degree of integrity. They just saw the world differently.
I found a solution that appealed to each’s integrity and allowed them to build trust, if not in each other, at least in their work. We created a contract (actually a requirements specification). Each could concentrate on building his piece to conform to the contract, and as long as they trusted that the other’s work conformed (which he could prove through objective testing), we had success. We discussed disagreements in terms of the requirements, not each other’s work. Their commitment to their personal integrity kept us moving forward.
Fundamentally, trust is about integrity, not agreement. The real solution to rebuilding trust in our experts, politicians, and media is to focus on each’s commitment to their integrity.
