I’m a good driver, but you wouldn’t agree.
I know this because my family has complained that I’m a bad driver for years. I disagree, of course, because, well, I’m a good driver.
My driving record agrees with me. Over 35 years of driving in all weather conditions and with hellish commutes, I have exactly one minor fender bender and a dead deer on my record.
“I’m the guy you want at the wheel. I’ll get you there safely and quickly.”
At the same time, I make passengers uncomfortable, fearful, and sometimes physically ill. Because I’m not a good driver.
What we have here is a difference in our definitions of good based on our shared yet separate experiences. We both experience the same events, yet our perspectives on those events are vastly different.
Good to me (the driver) means that I’m good at the physical operation of the vehicle in all conditions and all situations. Like you would consider Mario Andretti a good driver.
Good to you (the passenger) means how my driving makes you feel. How smooth is the ride? Are we getting too close? Do we stop late and accelerate aggressively?
Once we understand each other’s definition, two things can happen: 1) we can communicate from common ground, and 2) we can develop empathy through each other’s perspectives.
Since I’ve become aware, I’m much more attentive to how my passengers feel. I’ve changed my behavior as a driver.
Now, where else is this happening?
