As a parent, have you heard about or been a part of a story like this:
“My 12-year old (7th grade) sends me a frantic text message because she forgot her notebook and homework assignment at home. The teacher said she’ll get a zero on the assignment if she doesn’t hand it in today.”
How do you handle it?
When I was 12, I get the zero. As would all/most of my classmates.
But parents today (myself included) are increasingly allergic to allowing kids to face the consequences.
What are the consequences of a 7th-grader getting a zero on a homework assignment?
None. It’s not going to affect her ability to get into college. It’s not going to effect her ability to get a job. It’s not going to affect her ability to do anything in life.
But, if she’s allowed to fail and get the zero, what might she gain?
An understanding of consequences. An understanding of responsibility. An opportunity to experience and then learn how to handle emotional turmoil.
It’s all in a 100% safe environment with no long-term downside. It’s the emotional equivalent of the playground full of rounded-edged, not-too-high-off-the-ground, and PTO-approved equipment surrounded by a dump truck full of ground-up rubber tires.
Sometimes we need to let them fail.
