Stuff My Younger Self Got Right

Fifty is one of those milestones. Probably past half way. Certainly a reasonable point to reflect.

Whether you feel awesome, or mediocre, or terrible, have some fun with the reflection.

For some, it would be easy to focus on what you wish was different. The regrets. But as a coach/mentor, and a mentee, I’ve come to know the power of focusing on the wins, however small.

So I choose to intentionally focus on some of the stuff I got right as a young adult. At least some of the time. To be clear: not all of the time. Nor was I was conscious of all of this at the time.

But in hindsight, here is the stuff my younger self got right. I am still applying these today.

You may recognize yourself in many of these things, or may disagree vehemently with some of them. Maybe I’m a stone-cold loser. Regardless, you may find some truth in this list.

50+ Things I Got Right

These are in no particular order.

1. Look for ways to add value at work, at home, and in the community.
2. Find and participate in your spiritual community.
3. Find a purpose larger than yourself.
4. Be curious and continue to wonder.
5. Invest in your marriage.
6. Expose your emotional self to your partner.
7. Realize that commitment is something you do, not something you expect.
8. Be self-aware.
9. Invest in your children.
10. Be the adult for your children, sometimes at the expense of being a buddy.
11. Provide as many opportunities for your children as you can.
12. Let your children learn to struggle and figure stuff out.
13. Let your children determine their own path.
14. Sacrifice for your family.
15. Invest in your physical health.
16. Make exercise fun.
17. Get harder to kill every day, both physically and mentally.
18. Start saving for your “later life” right away, at the maximum amount, no excuses.
19. Learn about finances.
20. Make enough money so you don’t go to bed stressed about money (most nights).
21. Realize that money is just a tool, like any other resource.
22. Invest in experiences over stuff.
23. Don’t feel bad about spending money on stuff that brings you joy.
24. Find a place/neighborhood to live that doesn’t make you feel out of place.
25. Don’t blindly follow the crowd.
26. Don’t pay attention to the news.
27. Don’t gossip.
28. Assume the other side is innocent and has the best intentions.
29. Assume you have made a mistake or don’t understand.
30. Give everyone the benefit of the doubt.
31. Don’t be easily offended.
32. Don’t whine about what you think you are owed, who wronged you, or what are your rights.
33. Seek out real conversation.
34. See the other’s perspective.
35. Keep looking for other interesting things to do.
36. Travel (resorts don’t count).
37. Keep learning new things.
38. Choose to be happy.
39. Find a work-life balance that is more integration, rather than separation.
40. Stay away from those you don’t want to become.
41. Share your work and ideas with coworkers.
42. Always find time to help your coworkers.
43. Sometimes be a follower, sometimes be a leader.
44. Don’t be impressed by titles or letters after one’s name, most especially your own.
45. Find the art in your work.
46. Reply to calls/emails/messages.
47. Be someone who can be counted upon.
48. Focus on what you can control.
49. Fix the big things first.
50. Read…a lot.
51. Tell people when you are impressed with them.
52. Figure out how to fix your house and car yourself.
53. Know how to cut your grass, mulch your yard, clean the bathroom, do laundry, make dinner, hang shelves, go through TSA at the airport, get an Uber or taxi, take a bus and train, paint a room, drive a manual transmission, and pump your own gas.
54. Go outside.
55. Pursue and appreciate the arts.
56. Embrace change.
57. Intention matters, regardless of results.

Summary

Self awareness is a critical trait in the quest for emotional intelligence and growth. No matter your age, reflection exercises are a great little tool that you can use to reset your awareness more accurately.

See here for another reflection exercise that I conducted on stuff that I’d like to tell my younger self.

They key to effective self reflection is a mix of honesty and focusing on positives. If you think about your younger self and find the things you were doing right, you can see how it’s led you to some of your biggest positive moments. Likely some of the best parts of yourself.

What is the stuff that your younger self was doing right?