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Daily one-pagers about AI, leadership, technology, and being human.

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July 1, 2016 7 minute read

Are you Being Accused of Having Changed? How to Keep Going…

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Are you Being Accused of Having Changed?  How to Keep Going…

Have you heard any of these, accompanied by that oh, so non-subtle body language or tone in the voice?

  • “You have changed”
  • “Where has this come from?”
  • “Why are you trying to do ___________?”
  • “What was wrong with what you were doing?”

And many times, the source of these statements are either friend or family, or both.

Let me clarify…I’m not talking about negative change, like you’ve sunken into addiction or criminal activity, or have abandoned responsibility. I’m talking about changes you have inevitably made because you have COMMITTED yourself to a VISION or some GOALS that are inherently positive.  These are changes that you can only see as positive, but you’re getting flack from those around.

Let’s look at a few scenarios…

Assume you’ve committed yourself to the goal of running a marathon.  For the last 5 years, maybe the “old” you always met the boys for coffee and bagels on Saturday mornings.  But now that you have this goal, with a real plan that calls for real action, you have found that Saturday mornings are the time you can get your volume build-up run in for the week.  So now you’ve missed 8 weeks in a row of Saturday morning coffee, and the guys are giving you real grief.  At first it was a couple of snarky remarks, but its turned a bit more hostile.  At this point, you’re not even on the group text, and if you get a message from one of them, it’s likely sarcastic.  You tell the guys that its just till the race, then you’re back in.  The race comes, and goes, and you take that next Saturday and meet the boys.  But its not the same…for you, anyway.  You find yourself actually wishing you were running instead.  So next week you do it.  You feel great, but the shun returns from the boys.

How about this one…You’ve committed yourself to making a career change from an employee to a entrepreneur.  Maybe your starting a side business, or maybe you’ve gone ahead and dove in full-time.  This is something that you’ve always had in your mind, but you have just recently decided to take the action. To make this dream a reality, it requires that you step out of your box, change some perspectives, and commit time and resources to new things that the old you didn’t do.  Those around you notice.  At first, there is some general support, but over time, that support turns into grumbling and maybe even snickers or outright hostility from a select few.

What’s happened is that you’ve simply stopped living the life that was EXPECTED of YOU by OTHERS.  This causes a ripple effect, and forces those around you to change themselves.  At the very least, they must change their view of you, and many times that change is unwelcome.

Do you know why you never have to put a lid on a bucket of freshly caught, and very much alive blue crabs?  It’s because if one of those crabs figures it out, and starts to climb out, the others will NOT ALLOW IT, and they just grab that guy and pull him right back down.  None of those crabs escape, because the collective keeps them trapped in their world.

It’s not much different in your life.  You have surrounded yourself with people, and over time, those people expect you to be a CERTAIN YOU.  That CERTAIN YOU fits the mold, and it allows the others to play their role with which they are comfortable.  When you try to break out, and make some changes, that causes your circle to re-examine themselves, as well as their thoughts about you.  And that is likely uncomfortable.

This is one of THE MAIN REASONS why its hard for those that come from a community of crime and poverty to break the mold and escape the cycle.  Those around them threaten to exile them, or harm them or their family.

Ever since I first read Stephen Pressfield’s The War of Art, I have always pictured his concept of Resistance as the ontological form of fear.  It is fear’s manifested power over our mind.  Resistance is tricky and sneaky, and it’s extremely powerful and ingenious.  In the situations here, Resistance is RECRUITING ALLIES.  Your own mind is more comfortable with the old you, because inertia is a powerful force.  Then you add to the inertia the fear of breaking the cycle, and the Resistance is almost unstoppable.

Are you someone who has moved away, either permanently or for a period of time, from where you grew up?  If so, do you remember when you first went to college, or joined the military, or moved to a new town to start working?  Part of you was likely apprehensive, but part of you was likely thrilled as well.  And not just for the opportunity to DO something new, but for the opportunity to BE someone new.  You were able to start cleanly and reinvent yourself if you wanted.  It was easy because you had little to no friends or family in that new area.  Resistance was not able to recruit local allies in its never ending war with your mind.

But what we’re talking about here is BEING someone NEW, without the luxury of a brand new circle of people.  The Resistance’s allies are camped just outside the walls, and waiting to be enlisted.

So how do we beat those allies? It’s truly mindset, commitment, and action.  Here are some tips that you can use:

  • Recognition: Awareness is usually the first step in all solutions for the mind.
  • Focus on your WHY daily.  Make sure that the reason you are committed to your plan is healthy and righteous.  By continuing to focus on it, you train your subconscious mind to believe to be possible.
  • Lean on those that are supportive.  Resistance will have some allies, but you likely will as well.  Enlist them to fight on your side.  Spend more time with them, and give them more of your time.  Find people that are doing what you want, and get around them.
  • Keep taking the action.  The actions you are taking gain momentum, and ultimately result in you getting to where you desire.  By focusing on the action itself, you keep your mind occupied with the doing.

A word of caution…You do need to check yourself occasionally, to ensure your path is noble and healthy.  Those closest to you can be the best way to do that.  Maybe all of the changes you have made are completely positive from your standpoint, but in reality, there has been a negative side effect of which you were unaware.  You must look at this soberly, and decide if a change of direction is in order.

The bottom line is that if you keep taking ACTION, LEAN on those that are supportive, and FOCUS on your WHY, you can beat Resistance and its allies!  

I hope this helped you in some way, and if so, please share it with others, and please connect with me.  I would love to hear your thoughts and the experiences you’ve had as well.

Have a great day!

 

June 28, 2016 5 minute read

How to Fight the Victim Mindset

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How to Fight the Victim Mindset

It’s a touchy subject for sure…There’s a fine line, and sometimes blurred line, between reality and our mind…our subconscious and conscious.  But its something we need to recognize, and realize that its simply keeping us from moving forward.

Playing the part of the victim, or wallowing in self-pity is a very common coping mechanism, and as Stephen Pressfield puts forth in The Art of War, it’s yet one more way we allow the Resistance to win.  It so common in fact, that doctors have estimated that between 70 and 80 precent of the patients they see are not actually physical ill.

What do I mean by “being a victim”?  Well…quite simply, it’s when you allow yourself to FEEL like a victim.  And feeling like a victim means that you are feeling like you can’t control your life or your outcome.  You feel like the outcome is not dependent upon you, but on forces or circumstance beyond your control.

Here’s the great news…YOU CAN BREAK OUT! 

How do you do that?

Before we dive into the ways to break the cycle, let’s first understand a bit about why its such a common coping mechanism.  There are actually pseudo-benefits that our mind reaps from allowing ourselves to be the victim:

  • Victimhood is in alignment with a mind that is looking for reasons to give in to Resistance.  It is very easy to convince ourselves that “we can’t” or “we shouldn’t” if we think we have no control over our life.  It’s a match made in hell.
  • You gain attention.  Let’s face it, many times, other people empathize.  And this makes you feel better, and reinforces that you are the victim. It is indeed a vicious circle.
  • You can shirk responsibility.  If your mind thinks it can’t control your own situation, then for sure it can’t take on responsibility.  AND…shirking responsibility is a VERY COMMON method people use to deflect criticism and failure.  Criticism and failure are 2 of our biggest fears.

These are pseudo-benefits because in fact they are damaging to your ability to move forward.  On one level, they rationalize your victimhood, but on the level that matter, they keep you from doing your work.

Now let’s discuss the methods for breaking free…

  1. Own it.  It’s this simple first step of acknowledgement that is the most critical.  Ultimately, its taking control of your own mind that breaks you out, and awareness is the first step to taking control.
  2. Find that for which you should be grateful, and focus on it every day.  When you focus on the gifts you’ve been given and the things in your life make you grateful, it starts to train your mind properly.  Your mind starts to have trouble fitting in the all of the “other” stuff if it’s filled with gratitude.  Each morning, start your day with a time of gratitude.  For me, this is prayer, but even if you aren’t spiritual in that way, you can still be purposefully mindful of your blessings.  You have many, acknowledge them.
  3. Help someone else.  Victimhood is mainly a problem of subjectivity and inward focus.  If you can properly realign your basis, your mind can start to understand you don’t have as big a problem as you thought.  By helping someone else, this connects your subconscious thoughts to the reality that there is a spectrum, and likely you are somewhere in the middle, not the bottom.
  4. Forgive.  If your victimhood was set in motion by another person, forgive them.  OK, this is a MUCH bigger topic than one line here, but its again another process by which you are training your subconscious mind to see the future rather than dwell in the past.
  5. Make a plan.  When you set a real plan in place, you are taking ownership of your mind and life.  The act of making that plan is small and critical step on the road to fighting the Resistance.  You MUST take control of your own mind.
  6. Take action on the plan.  If you’ve made the plan, then there is no more wondering what steps to take.  If there is no more wondering, then all you have to do is…DO IT!

Escaping the victim mindset is about acknowledging it, and then taking ownership of your own mind.  

As I’ve stated before, all of the topics and messages that I include here are things that have touched me personally in some way. This is my journey that I am laying out in hopes that maybe you can resonate and find helpful ways to overcome.

There are many times in my life that I have allowed myself to play the victim.  Maybe not in an overly dramatic, or outward way, but certainly inside my own noggin.

Here’re some ways to check yourself, mined directly from own experiences:

  • If only I had the money/time/people/<name_your_resource_here>.
  • I’ve been told that I can’t do that.
  • If only I felt better
  • My position/role is <whatever_here>, that’s not my responsibility.
  • Do you know what <whomever> did to me?
  • I’m not fast/good/big/fun/outgoing/<name_a_trait_here> enough to do that

Certainly there are many others as well, but these are some thoughts or even conversations that if you are having, then you may be giving in to victimhood.

Don’t let it win!

I hope this helped you in some way, and if so, please share it with others, and please connect with me.  I would love to hear your thoughts and the experiences you’ve had as well.

Have a great day!

June 27, 2016 10 minute read

Leadership Lessons from the Baseball Diamond: Confidence Breeds Excellence

Leadership

Leadership Lessons from the Baseball Diamond: Confidence Breeds Excellence

Back to the baseball diamond for another inning of leadership lessons.  Youth baseball tournaments continue to be fertile ground for leadership lessons that apply to athletics and just about any other endeavor in life.  Find some previous Leadership Lessons from the Baseball Diamond here.

Today’s installment:  Build confidence in your team members and they will perform their best.

In watching a recent game of 11-year olds, I became aware of a particular quality of a team that at first seemed odd. This team, for all you could see, was filled with studs.  They were big…smashed the ball in the cage…rocket arms in pregame warmups.  Then the game started.  Consider the following sequence of events:

  1. Things start as anyone watching the 2 teams warmup would expect.  “Big Guys” go up 6-2 by the end of the 2nd inning, but you get the feeling that they are in complete control, and no one would be surprised at a mercy rule end.  Only 2 real interesting thing of note:
    • The “Big Guys” coaching staff provides no verbal cue’s or direction to the team on the field.
    • There seems to be no real interaction or camaraderie amongst the players on the bench.
  2. In the top of the 3rd inning, with opposing men on 1st and 3rd base, the “Big Guys” catcher allows a ball to go by (a wild pitch), and the runners advance, 6-3.  The coach yells out to the catcher that he will be on the bench if any more balls get past.  There are 3 extra players on the bench.
  3. Later in the same inning, another ball gets by the catcher.  This time, it’s an 0-2 curveball in the dirt.  The batter swings, misses, and then runs and makes it safely to 1st on the dropped 3rd strike due to the catcher initially forgetting that the batter can run.  Coach yells out that there are plenty of other players on this team that would love to catch.  The catcher is visibly upset.
  4. In the top of the 4th inning, the score now 9-3, nobody on base and no outs, a line drive is hit to “Big Guys” right fielder.  The right fielder and the ball converge as the ball hits the ground.  It scoots under the diving fielder’s mitt and roles 30 feet past him.  The center field hustles over, retrieves the ball, and throws it in to the infield.  The runner advances to 2nd base.  The coach yells out to the right fielder, “You HAVE TO keep that ball in front of you!”.  The right fielder sulks back to his position for the next pitch.
  5. At this point, there are verbal warnings form the coaches to the players on the field about how they are not playing up to their potential and that they are better than that.  Mind you, there has been essentially zero actual instruction or cue’s for the particular defensive situations.  The crowd is silent…there is no talking on the bench.
  6. Now with the runner on 2nd, and no outs, the pitcher wheels and attempts to pick off the runner.  The 2nd baseman had already moved off the bag back toward the hole.  He couldn’t get there and the ball sails into center field.  The runner advances to 3rd.  The coach yells out to the 2nd baseman, “You HAVE GOT TO READ that better!  We are BETTER than that!” (Just a reminder to the reader that these are 11-year olds).  The pitcher yells something to the 2nd baseman as well.
  7. That sequence of events seems to energize the opposition.  They start to the hit pitcher, and there are some bloops and seeing-eye ground balls, and a couple of walks.  By the end of 4th, its 9-7 “Big Guys”.  “Big Guys” coach yells, “Get in here!” with his angry eyes in place and huddles the team.  I have no idea what was said, but there are 12 kids with heads down, hunched shoulders, and shuffly walks to the bench as they prepare to hit.
  8. “Big Guys” go down 1-2-3.  The 2nd and 3rd batters strike out by swinging at questionable pitches.  The coach yells that they need better pitch selection.
  9. Fast forward to the top of the 6th (the last inning in 11U baseball).  The score is now 10-9 “Big Guys”, and there is a runner on 3rd base and 1 out for the opposition.  The tension on the “Big Guys” bench and in the stands is palpable.  There’s mumbling amongst the parents.  But…the opposition is cheering and high-fiving!
  10. The batter hits a ground ball to the short stop, who fields it, and pulls up to fire, but seems unsure.  He double pumps and takes an extra shuffle step before letting it fly to home.  The runner, who was moving on contact, doesn’t even need to slide.  Safe by a mile, game tied.  And now there’s a runner on 1st as well.
  11. Next batter walks…1st and 2nd, with 1 out.  Coach is silent on the bench.  No chatter whatsoever from the players on the field.
  12. Wild pitch gets by the catcher…2nd and 3rd with one out.
  13. The batter hits a popup to shallow left field between the short stop and left fielder.  Both are there in plenty of time, but neither calls it, and neither makes the catch.  Bases jammed, 1 out.
  14. Next batter hits a gapper between center and right, clears the bases.  12-10 opposing team.
  15. The game ends this way.

What did I learn about this team, and more importantly, it’s leadership?

To be fair, the coach was actually correct from a baseball standpoint in the admonitions that are seen in this sequence.  Taken individually, and viewed from the context of content only, he was right.  But he FAILED in 2 IMPORTANT areas that ultimately led to his team losing the game:

  1. He destroyed their individual and collective confidence by immediately focusing their attention on their mistakes and being visibly angry at their errors.  Baseball is a game of “failure”.  Why?  Because Hall of Fame hitters only succeed 30% of the time.  That means they “fail” 70% of the time.  The ones who make it are the ones who can focus on the success and on how to succeed, rather than always being drawn to focus on the failure.
  2. As the leader, he did NOT do HIS PART, by taking HIS BURDEN off of the players.  The coach is owner of the game plan.  It’s his responsibility to put his players in positions to make plays before each pitch. He did little to none of that.  If this was a professional team, the coach has every right to expect that his players should know these things implicitly.  BUT, these were 11 year olds!  Most of them can’t remember to bring their water, or their mitt, or wear their cleats.  Certainly they are starting to understand the game at this age, but each player is a unique situation.  The reality is that with players of this age, the coaching staff should be instructing and giving verbal cue’s to the players at each inflection point in the game.  The coaches should be reminding the players of the situation and making calls so the players are in the proper mindset for the next pitch.  These kids can make plays physically, but they are still in need of assistance on the mental side.

On the flip side, the team that won game used the GAINING of confidence to their great advantage.  As soon as they saw some cracks in the armor of the “Big Guys”, they realized that they were in the game.  They weren’t thinking about making mistakes, they were simply out there playing.  Their coaches were encouraging them and were excited with them.  They actually did made mistakes, but there was no focus on them.  The focus was on how each time they did something right, the other team got tighter and tighter.

This lesson in leadership applies directly to our lives.  Any team, in any situation, will perform its best if its members have confidence.

As the leader, you need to find ways to boost that confidence, and the main one is to simply allow the team members to make mistakes.  If a team member understands that its OK to make a mistake when honestly trying to do the right thing, then this builds his/her confidence and allows them to contribute in more ways, such as:

When your team is loose and unafraid, they have the potential to soar higher, go faster, and ultimately perform better.  They are not overthinking and they are empowered.  When they are tight and afraid, they make decisions based on fear, and that results in hesitation or overthinking.  Overthinking can lead to “wrong thinking”.  If they are afraid to make decision, they continuously avoid them by always pulling in the leadership.  This slows everything down.

This does NOT mean you allow your team members to be unprepared, careless, unengaged, malicious, or negligent of their duties.  It simply means that honest mistakes should not be punished.  You and your team must learn from those mistakes to get even better.

There was another great ancillary lesson here in leadership, and that is: the team members gain confidence in themselves when they are allowed to focus on THEIR JOB.  The leader, in this case the coach of the team, must take on the burdens that sit outside the scope of responsibility of the team members.  It is the leader’s job to ensure that the framework and the direction are in place.  The coach, knowing that these are 11-yr old kids, must understand that they are going to need some verbal cue’s and reminders of what to do in the given circumstance.

The same is true in life.  The team members usually have enough to focus on without also having to worry about the things that are typically expected of the leader.  It varies, of course, but things such as direction, priority, schedule, budgets, expenses, moral, etc are all items that are part of the leaders responsibility.  If a team member is confident that the leader is taking care of his/her items, then that helps to build confidence in the team itself.

Now you know…

The big take away here is that confident individuals typically perform the best.  Most times when the individuals are performing their best, the team is also.  If you are in a leadership position, one of your goals is to instill confidence in your team members, and one of the main ways for you to do that is allow them to make mistakes.  Ultimately, it’s not that a mistake is made, it’s how the leader reacts and what comes of the mistake that leads to the outcome. 

I hope this helped you in some way, and if so, please share it with others, and please connect with me.  I would love to hear your thoughts and the experiences you’ve had as well.

Have a great day!

June 23, 2016 4 minute read

One Way to Fight the Resistance: Are You a Producer or a Consumer?

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One Way to Fight the Resistance: Are You a Producer or Consumer?

Do you know who won the latest “Reality TV Show XYZ“?  Do you find yourself agreeing with the car commercial that insists that “you work hard, you deserve this car” (have you ever used that phrase in conversation with your spouse)?  Do you find yourself spending copious amounts of your day keeping up with sports or entertainment news?  Do you find you spend a significant amount of your income on entertainment?

Here’s something you need to think about.  It’s another LOOK IN THE MIRROR message.

We’re back mining wisdom from Stephen Pressfield’s “The War of Art”.  In the section on Resistance, he’s got a quote that battered me with a sledgehammer as soon as I read it.  The quote is:

As artists and professionals it is our obligation to enact our own internal revolution, a private insurrection in our own skulls.  In the uprising we free ourselves form the tyranny of consumer culture.  We overthrow the programming of advertising, movies, video games, magazines, TV, and MTV by which we have been hypnotized from the cradle.  We unplug ourselves from the grid by recognizing that we will never cure our restlessness by contributing our disposable income to the bottom line of Bullshit, Inc, but only by doing our work.

Of Course! Let’s look at what I think he’s saying:

  • We have to recognize and acknowledge that our culture is, and has been, bombarding us with THEIR agenda
  • We’ve got to fight that internally in order to do anything useful…move forward…accomplish something
  • To do that, we have to unplug ourselves from the machine and actually do THE WORK
  • We’ve got to take back our time, and take back our money, and produce something

Where are you on the consumer culture scale?  Ultimately, we all need to keep the culture’s secret agents in check in our own lives if we want to move forward with our work.  The consumer and pop culture of the day feeds the Resistance, and if we’re not aware, contributes to our lack of productivity.  We must set our OWN AGENDA, not give in to the culture’s agenda in order to beat the Resistance.

How do we do that?

Each of us are different, so we have to find our own method by understanding what feeds our own consumer mindset.  But here’s how I check myself:  I ask myself, “Am I being more of a producer or more of a consumer?”

If you are producing more than consuming, your net value is positive.  Always strive for positive net value.  Notice that I use “net value” purposefully.  Certainly all of us go through seasons, and phases whereby we are in consumer mode.  But the point is, we are striving for positive NET VALUE, therefore, producing more than consuming overall.

I’ve been asking myself that question for many years now.  I hadn’t discovered “The War of Art” until recently, but when I read that quote, I found the synergy right away.  To me that’s what he’s really saying: “Be a producer, more than a consumer.”

We have to wage this war with our own mind, which would rather give in to the resistance.  It’s a war of producing more than consuming.  One of the battlefronts that resistance uses, is this consumer culture in which we live.  So we have to be conscious of that, battle it and keep adding value by doing our work, whatever that is.

Think of how many people, either living or historical, that made an impact on you or the world had very little knowledge of the pop culture of the day.  Some were ignorant of the news, some ignorant of the entertainment world, some ignorant of technology, some were just plain ignorant of most things outside of their own house or studio.  There’s something to that.  These are people that set their own agenda, and kept producing.

So get out there and produce!

I hope you got some value from this.  If you did, please feel free to share it others.  Also, leave a comment or connect with me and let me know what you think.

Have a great day!

 

June 21, 2016 3 minute read

How to Realistically Turn Actions into Habits

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How to Realistically Turn Actions into Habits

How long does it really take?  What must I do to turn my useful, productive actions into actual habits?

The Slight Edge and The Compound Effect teach us that its the small, easy to do (but easy not to do) actions that we take everyday that ultimately result in success.  Each day the process starts with a mentally explicit commitment to these actions. BUT…the holy grail is when these ACTIONS become HABITS!  Once the habit is formed, these actions become easier and easier to do, and harder not to do.  With any habit (good or bad), our mind feels the reward once the action is complete.

So how do we do it?

I’ve read about and heard people say that it takes 21 days to create a habit.  However, the research shows that its actually somewhere between 21 days and 8 months, or 9 months, or whenever.  Here’s an excellent post that shows that on average, it’s more like 66 days.  The reality is, its actually highly dependent on the habit trying to be formed, and the individual trying to form it.

Here is a quick, and very annotated class on how habits form.  This concept is put forth in a book by Charles Duhigg, called The Power of Habit.    Forming a new habit starts with a 3-part process known as a “habit loop”.

  1. There’s a cue or trigger
  2. The behavior/action itself
  3. A reward

When we merge this process with our success concepts, we see this process as the following:

  1. The trigger is a mental commitment to taking the action.  An explicit desire to move forward.
  2. The action is taken.
  3. The reward is the mind’s fulfillment of having taken that action and knowing that we are 1 day closer to realizing our vision.

We’re all unique and individually designed, and with any action from which we are trying to create a habit, we must understand that there’s probably not a toggle switch at 21 days, 66 days, 8 months, or whatever time frame.  We have to COMMIT to and then EMBRACE the process.  It might be a long slow walk, or it may go quick.  In either case, we start with a commitment to the system of turning the easy to do, easy not to do actions into habits.  Here’s another excellent post on turning your goals into habits.

And some day, maybe many days, we’re gonna make mistakes.  There are going to be days when we don’t get it done.  There are days when the Resistance is too great, or the Instant Gratification Monkey rips the steering wheel out of our hands.  The great news is the research also shows that missing an opportunity on any given day does NOT negatively affect the habit formation process.  It’s a gradual process with steps forward and maybe some steps backward.  The key is to commit to taking that action the next day, or the next opportunity.

Forming a new habit is likely going to be a long haul.  It’s not an overnight thing.  But if we commit the Slight Edge, and to taking the actions everyday, then ultimately those new, productive and useful habits are formed.

It starts with the mental commitment, continues with the action itself, and then ends with the mind’s reward of having taken the action.

Was this helpful?  If you liked this, and think other’s may find value here, please share with others and leave a comment.

Have a great day!

June 14, 2016 7 minute read

Leadership Lessons from the Baseball Diamond: Don’t Blame Others

Leadership

Leadership Lessons from the Baseball Diamond: Don’t Blame Others

Baseball provides an outstanding metaphor for life, and many lessons in success and leadership can be found on the baseball diamond. Regardless of whether the game and its players are kids or adults, or whether we are participating or spectating, there are plenty of lessons to mine.  Youth baseball tournaments are especially fertile ground, because typically there are many teams with many different levels of coaching skills and styles.  The next time you’re at a baseball tournament, or any other athletic tournament, watch and pay attention to the coaches and how they conduct themselves and lead their teams.

Here’s a great one that struck me recently:  Don’t blame others.

I saw this particular sequence, and I’ve seen it dozens of times, and honestly I’ve fallen victim to it myself:

  1. Coach doesn’t like some calls on some of the pitches.  He thinks that low and outside pitch is not a strike, and starts grousing at the umpire. At first with just some body language, but after the 2nd strikeout on that pitch, he gets a bit vocal
  2. A 3rd player strikes out on that low and outside pitch, and regardless of the actual location, he labels it a bad call, and starts moaning on the way back to the dugout.  The coach validates the player’s response and gets a bit louder with his protests.
  3. It happens again, this time the coach throws his hands in the air and starts overtly yelling his protest at the umpire.  The players from the bench do the same.  The fans join in.
  4. The next batter hits a ground ball to deep short, the shortstop makes the grab, and the long throw to 1st is just in time (or was it?).  Umpire yells, “Out!”
  5. The 1st and 3rd base coaches throw a rod, and verbally abuse the umpire (regardless of the actual validity of the call).  Now the players on the bench and the crowd have joined in as well.  The player who was called out throws his helmet when he gets back to the bench.
  6. Then the wheels fall off for the team.  And this team is clearly more talented than their opponent. But the next inning in the field, they make errors, compounded by more yelling at the umpires, and they can’t stop the flood.
  7. For the remainder of the game, they can’t hit.  They’re swinging at bad pitches, striking out, and everything they do hit is a weak grounder to the infield or a popup.
  8. Game over
  9. In the post-game wrap-up, the coaches tell the players that it wasn’t their fault that the umpires were so bad, and they deserved to win the game.

So what happened?   Is the coach correct?  Did the umpires cause them to lose?

Not even REMOTELY…even if the coaches were right and many of those calls were bad calls.  What happened is this team beat themselves.  And why?  Well, it started with the coaches, who simply blamed the umpires, which is something they had NO CONTROL over.  Then it flowed downhill to the team.  Individually, and collectively, they were convinced that the reason they lost had nothing to do with their actual play.  Certainly, as coaches you need to keep the officials honest, and you are well within your rights to question when poor calls are made.  But there is a right way and a wrong way to voice your displeasure, and question the officials, especially as the leader.  The right way keeps the team focused on what it can control.  The wrong way distracts the players and has them thinking about and focused on things out of their control.

The leader, or leaders, of any team are responsible for the mindset of the team members.  One of his/her main jobs is to keep the team focused properly so it can perform to its best.  Regardless if we are talking about athletics, politics, business, volunteer organizations, or families. The leader must seek to control the mindset of the team members and keep them focused on what they can control.  If they start to blame others, or they allow their team to blame others, then the mindset is all wrong for success.

The coaches in this case allowed themselves, and by extension the players, to become completely distracted by blaming the umpires. They led by example, and their team followed.  When they became distracted, they couldn’t focus on the things THEY COULD CONTROL, and consequently, they couldn’t perform.  And then, to sum it all up, they validated the collective cancerous thought process at the post-game wrap up.  So guess what?  Its going to happen again.

Here’s an alternative approach that the coach could have followed:

  • Coach thinks that pitch is low and outside.  At the conclusion of the inning, he walks over to the umpire and privately asks for clarification on the strike zone.  The umpire confirms that he will be calling that pitch a strike.
  • Coach gathers his team, and tells them that when they are at the plate with 2 strikes, to be aware of the low and outside pitch and they’ll have to swing at it to spoil it.  He tells his pitcher and catcher that low and outside is where every 0-2 and 1-2 pitch should be spotted.  He instructs his catcher to setup there every time on those counts.
  • When a player strikes out on that pitch, he is visibly displeased, but the coach reminds him that they’ve been warned that that pitch is being called a strike.  Try to get it next time.
  • When the close play at first happens, the coach walks onto the field and asks the base umpire if he can ask for help on that call from the home plate umpire.  The home plate umpire confirms the call of “out”.  He disagrees (inside he’s seething, of course), but tells his players that they need to stop complaining because they can’t control that call. They can only control how they hit and how they field.  Focus on those things.
  • At the conclusion of the game, the coach acknowledges that some calls didn’t go their way, but that’s no excuse (he’s still quite pissed inside).  The same umpires made calls for both teams.  Sure they’re all disappointed, and maybe even angry, but next game they’ve been instructed to focus on how they hit, pitch, field, and run the bases.  Learn from this game and come back strong in the next.

Ok…truth be told, most of us in the heat of the moment can’t keep it together that much. BUT…the more you can keep it together and keep the team focused on what they can control, the better they’ll be.  Even if the coach does start out the game by blaming the umpires, he can pull it back together for the team by recognizing that his team is following his lead and starting to control his approach.  By changing his own mindset from blaming others to focusing on what he can control, his players will do the same. I’ve lost it dozens of times, both on the field and in professional situations.  I’m not proud of those moments, and its because of the effect I realize it had on the team.  Maybe you’ve done the same.  The good news is that you can turn it around starting right now!

As the leader, when we openly blame others, that gives our team the go ahead to do the same.  The problem with blaming others, is that this is one of the biggest excuses that the Resistance uses to keep us from reaching our goals.  If we allow ourselves to think “The reason we didn’t ________, is because of <name_here>”, then we are not acknowledging our own role in our own success.  It’s just an excuse.  Instead of blaming, we must inward looking for ways through, and how we can get BETTER ourselves.  That’s the path to success.

Hopefully this was helpful in some way for you.  If so, please share it and comment below.  Please connect with me, I love to hear from you!

Have a great day!

June 12, 2016 5 minute read

One Critical Piece of Advice for Those Coming Out of School or Changing Careers…and Budding Entrepreneurs!

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One Critical Piece of Advice for Those Coming Out of School or Changing Careers…and Budding Entrepreneurs!

In the role that I’ve had as a software team manger for 10 years now, I’ve scoured many resumes of young, hopeful software developers, and have interviewed and spoke to a fair number as they exit college and are trying to embark on a career in the software development world.  When I was new at the interviewing and hiring process, I was always trying to figure out the best ways to separate those that will succeed, from those that won’t.  In my search for this answer, I received some sage advice from a casual conversation with an acquaintance in the journalism field.  This advice has served me well in both hiring employees, as well as my own approach to my entrepreneurial pursuits.

What was that advice?

My journalist friend basically said, “I speak with all kinds of kids who have been out of school for 6 months or more and are having trouble getting a paid gig.  They all seem to have the requisite skills from college: class XYZ, school newspaper, school web-page copy, etc.  All of that is fine and necessary, but what separates the ones that you would hire from those that you wouldn’t is simple: ARE YOU WRITING?

Boom!  You see, if you want to be a writer, then you’ll be writing, whether or not you are currently getting paid for it.  It costs literally nothing to be writing. Have a blog, submit free-lance stuff, create some sort of e-newsletter…something!  You ARE A WRITER if you are actually writing, not just if someone is paying you to write.

Software development is essentially identical.  It costs nothing to be writing code.  If you are interested in developing software, then nothing conveys that better than simply doing it on your own.  It shows initiative, it shows you are in fact actually interested in developing software, it shows you can put your mind to something and make progress….all of these are the kinds of qualities for which employers will be looking.

There is often little to separate you from the pack as you exit college.  That’s not entirely your fault, but for sure the people that have “done something” in addition to, or along with their studies do stick out.  During the interview process, your prospective employer is likely not only to be asking questions about your grades, your classes, and your knowledge (blah, blah, blah…), but about who you are, what your interests are, what makes you tick, and how that may fit into the organization and how you will contribute.  In my opinion (I’m sure many others disagree), where you went to school and your GPA are almost useless.  What I care about is how you will contribute, and how you will grow.  Neither of these comes out of school name or grades (OK…maybe a little…but really…I don’t care).  A team member is most productive when they care about what they are doing…when they are learning…when they find it interesting…when they like and work well with the other team members.  Again…no grades in that list.

It doesn’t really matter if you have a good app or product idea or not.  Your potential employer is not judging you on your idea.  What matters is you have a goal and you are working toward it and teaching yourself to be a developer in the process.  So get at it…start writing some code!

How does this apply to entrepreneurship?  Well…It’s really the same thing. Are any of these familiar to you?

  • “Boy, I’d really like to have my own business.”
  • “Someday, when ______________, I’m going to start my own thing.”
  • “I sure wish I wasn’t a slave to the corporate MAN.”
  • “That’s a great idea, maybe someday I should ___________.”

If this is the conversation in your head, then you are giving in to the Resistance.  You are using excuses and the resistance is winning.  Here’s the great news….You can overcome it!  How do you do it?

You start doing it!

Sure, its difficult, and we all have our different roads to travel.  But whatever your idea is, you can simply start doing it.  It certainly doesn’t have to be a full time thing, it probably shouldn’t be a full time thing.  You don’t have to quit your day job.  Start working on it in your spare time.  There are many posts here that discuss how to make better use of your time during the day: here, and here, and here, and more.  When you really look at your day, you will find time.  If it’s a priority, you have to make the time.

If you keep saying “Someday….”, or “If I had the time…”, then you are giving in to the resistance.  You are letting the resistance win the day.  Don’t let the resistance win!

If today was one of those days where the resistance won, gather yourself for tomorrow, wake up with purpose, and kick it in the teeth.  Do 1 thing that moves you closer.  You’ll be glad you did.

If you are looking for something to get started on the side, I may have the perfect opportunity for you.  Or, I can simply help you figure how to get started on whatever your plan is.  Please contact me anytime and let’s talk about it!

If this message was helpful to you, please share it.

Get out there and do it!

Have a great day!

June 8, 2016 4 minute read

How to Overcome 2 Popular Assumptions About Failure

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How to Overcome 2 Popular Assumptions About Failure

We have spent several posts discussing failure, and that failure is the key to success.  Unfortunately, we seem to be programmed the opposite way.  We are programmed to do everything we can to AVOID failure because we have been taught (or maybe its inherent) that failure is bad and we should avoid it.  But we MUST reprogram our mindset to EMBRACE failure. Successful people fail their way to success because their mindset regarding failure is totally different from others.  They see “failures” as SETBACKs and opportunities to learn and get better.

Here’re two more nuggets of wisdom from John C Maxwell’s, “Failing forward”.

  • Failure is NOT objective
  • Failure is NOT the enemy

Failure is NOT objective:

When a “failure” occurs, what determines whether it was actually a failure?  YOU!  You are the only one who can ultimately label the situation as a failure.  That’s because its YOUR perspective and the subsequent action YOU either take or do not take that determines whether it was a failure.  Even if the failure was objective on the surface, like a grade on an exam, it’s still not ultimately a failure unless you let it be.

For example, assume you get an”F” on an exam.  That grade only results in a true failure if you don’t learn something from it and use it as fuel to move you forward.  If you shrug your shoulders, put it out of your mind, and do nothing about it, then yes, it was a failure.  Suppose, however, you take that exam and figure out WHY you FAILED, and then learn the information properly.  Then you either take that exam again, or maybe you get the same information again on a later exam, and this time you do much better and maybe even ace it!  You’ve turned the original “F” into something much better, and learned more effectively along the way.

It’s the same with business, athletics, personal goals, relationships, our trust in the Lord….everything.

A statistic that I find interesting: The average entrepreneur fails at 3.8 businesses before they find success.  Do these entrepreneurs consider those first 3.8 businesses failures?  Maybe they have even lost all of their money in each of these ventures.  However, they’re still at it, still creating new businesses.  Why?  Because they’ve used the first 3.8 businesses to learn what doesn’t work, or how to improve what they are doing.  They failed in only 1 sense, but not ultimately.

Failure is NOT the enemy

This is simply a mindset that we must reprogram.  It’s hard because we’ve had [fill in your age] years of programming from our culture.  But the reality is that people who see failure as the enemy are captive to those who conquer it.  Those that embrace and learn from setbacks are those that are in charge.

When we give ourselves permission to fail, we give ourselves permission to excel.  We can excel because we can learn so much more from what went wrong, then if it all went right.  Here’s an example from the athletic world.  Why do we hold practice?  One of the main reasons is so that the players can fail in practice, and then correct that failure before the game.  When we do the things that set us back in practice, we can learn to do the things that move us forward in the game.

When you change your perspective on failure, you can change your ultimate outcome.

Please connect with me, and share your ideas on how to effectively learn from failure.  We all have different experiences, and we can always learn from each other.

Have a great day!

June 7, 2016 6 minute read

How to be Productively Unproductive to Allow our Mind to Recover

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How to be Productively Unproductive to Allow our Mind to Recover

Most of us know how physical training works, and how we get physically better.  We engage in cycles of physical work plus rest and recovery.  We run 5 miles, and then let our bodies rest until tomorrow or the next day.  We do a killer leg workout, and then let our legs recover for a few days before doing that workout again.  We know that during our rest and recovery periods, our bodies work to rebuild muscle fibers, restore fluids, and generate more proteins. And these physiological processes result in our bodies getting faster, stronger, and better.  The rest periods are just as important as the work periods.

In fact, this recovery works both in short terms (from day to day), and in long terms (across weeks and months).  I know from my own experience that if I’m trying to build up to a new distance or get faster over the current distance of running, that I must plan sufficient recovery periods and space out my running work sets across a week according to that plan.   And, occasionally, every couple of months, I take a whole week or so off of running, and when I do that, the next time I jump back in, I find that I am usually fresher and faster.

Like with physical training, studies show that we can train our mind the same way with periods of focus, and then periods of recovery.  We spend time focusing, then we spend time recovering.  As we engage in these cycles over time, our productivity increases, and our ability to focus increases.  When these occur, we start to find ourselves with MORE TIME.  More time for more recovery, or fun activities, or productive activities.  This should be one of the goals of our life: To have more time to do the things you want.

So we know we need to let our mind recover, just like our body, and we need to do on a daily scale, weekly scale, and longer scale.  This message focuses on what we do daily to let our mind recover.

When you let your mind rest, you must do it in a way that allows your mind to actually recover so it can focus and reengage when you need it.  Again, much like with physical training.  With physical training, useful recovery includes proper nutrition and inactivity so your body has the ingredients and time it needs to efficiently rebuild.  With your mind, you must find the ways to be PRODUCTIVELY UNPRODUCTIVE.

2 Kinds of Mental Rest

  1. The right kind:
    • Relaxes
    • Keeps your mindset positive
    • Restores creativity
    • Readies the mind for focus
  2. The wrong kind:
    • Agitates
    • Moves your mindset to the negative
    • Stifles creativity
    • Keeps the mind from focusing

We’ve defined the right kind and wrong kind by what they DO, but we haven’t really said what they ARE.  That’s because the activities that work for you are generally subjective.  Your goal is to find the particular types of mental rest that works FOR YOU.  We are unique, we are individually designed, and when we embrace our uniqueness, and be honest with ourselves, we are able to find what works best for us.

For example, here are some of the “right kind” of activities for me to be productively unproductive during a day:

  • Exercise (one of the main reasons I do my best to put my workout in the MIDDLE of my workday).  Even if not intense exercise, something physical and outside, like a walk.  Outside seems to be important for me.
  • Prayer / meditation.  I start my workdays with this, and it’s very focusing.  This is actually an activity that requires focus (whereas most of these are the opposite of mental focus), but I include it in this list because I think it is one of the best ways to get my mindset correct for the day.
  • Checking off some of the more mindless activities on my daily task list.  Maybe there’s some appointments to schedule or rearrange, or some errands to run, equipment to connect/disconnect, etc.  Disengaging onto these tasks not only helps my mind recover, but its also works off the task list!
  • Any online resources (videos, blogs, etc) or books or podcasts that provide some learning value (NO NEWS!).  You may be saying, “Hey, I thought these were activities that were mental breaks”.  Its true, but I’ve found that if I switch gears at the end of a focus period, or the end of my “workday” to learning on a separate (but possibly related) topic, this is very helpful.  My mind still seems to be able to recover quite well and the changeup is welcomed. Kind of like doing an endurance workout in the morning, and then training upper body strength later in the day.  Complimentary and useful.
  • Music, playing or listening.
  • Sometimes lunch or coffee/tea out of the office.  I normally use my lunch time for exercise and eat lunch that I have brought with me in the office, but sometimes I just need to get out for a bit.
  • And yes, sometimes some very mindless entertainment such as a little Angry Birds, Philly sports (simply watching the games, not engaging in the diabolical world of the drama of the teams), cat videos, or anything with some humor 🙂

Here are some things that I have given up (or do my best to resist) because I have found that they are the “wrong kind” of activities for resting my mind:

  • Sports radio.  Way too negative and provocative.  That, of course, is its purpose. It does the opposite of relaxing me.
  • Sports websites, twitter feeds, etc.  Ditto.
  • News of any kind (to be fair, other than sports news, I’ve never been much of a news guy, so this was easy for me)
  • Social media (although I do usually check this at points during the day, but I don’t scroll and engage)
  • Engaging in the typical workplace and life drama conversations
  • Reading purposefully inflammatory blogs, forums, or websites

Those are just some ideas from my world.  What are yours?  Find the “right kind” and eliminate the “wrong kind”.

Conclusion

Your mind needs a break just as your body does, so its important to give it some rest.  However, its just as important to give it the right kind of rest.  Find your best method for being “productively unproductive”.

Please connect with me, and share your ideas for the “right kind” and “wrong kind” of mental rest.  We all have different experiences, and we can always learn from each other.

Have a great day!

 

June 6, 2016 7 minute read

Free Your Mind and Make Your Day More Productive

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Free Your Mind and Make Your Day More Productive

Here’s one thing you can do today to help this day and every subsequent day be more productive.

One of our fundamental human needs is to feel useful, and here are 2 things we allow ourselves to succumb to feed that need:

  1. We let others schedule and invite us to way too many meetings, on their terms, rather than ours.
  2. We engage in the time and productivity sucking practice of “MULTITASKING”.  At least, multitasking in the form of trying to use the same part of our brain to do more than one thing at a time.  Resistance and the Instant Gratification Monkey LOVE multitasking, and the great technology we have at our finger tips are the weapons of their trade. When we attempt to multitask on tasks that use the same part of our brain, we are simply just causing each of the individual tasks to take longer and have less quality, because we are less focused on each.

Multitasking, and the ways we can effectively use it, and the ways that it absolutely kills our productivity will be the subject of many of posts here.  This post, however, focuses on some things you can do to help fight this urge and to help you take back control of some of your time…At least those of you who’s work typically includes meetings.

Does this sound familiar?

You’ve risen for the day with purpose.  Mindset is right.  Gratitude and affirmations are complete, and you’ve made your list of tasks for the day, one or two of which will require your creative effort and you’re looking forward to them.  Now you’re looking to get started crossing off those items on the list.   You are feeling especially creative today.

You look at your calendar to schedule those focus + recovery periods and….whamo!  You realize that there is NO time today to schedule a proper focus period.  You see a 9am meeting till 9:30, then a 10-11:30, then a 12:30-1:30, and 2-3.  Ugh…none of these meetings are related to the things you need to get done.

What to do?  Well..I’m going to release you right now from the noose of productivity killing meetings 🙂

It comes down to 2 concepts.  I have implemented these 2 concepts in my own life, and I can absolutely vouch for them. One is empowering, and the other is a simple discipline that leads to more time efficient meetings (and it rubs off on those around you):

  1. RESPECT your own TIME by being the MASTER of your own TIME
  2. NEVER MULTITASK during your meetings

Respect Your Own Time

All this means is YOU be the MASTER of your own TIME.  YOU be in charge of YOUR SCHEDULE.  It’s your time, act like it.  If you see a tough day or week of scattered meetings ahead that won’t allow you get things done, see how you can change, shorten, or remove those meetings in a fashion that will allow you to schedule and keep contiguous blocks of focus time during your day.

  • Step 1: Decline/remove all meetings for which you are not presenting information, or directly receiving useful information.  Always, always, always question the requirement for you to be at a meeting.  If you have been invited out of courtesy, and you won’t be receiving useful information, decline it.  If you’ve been invited because, “We might need something from you”, decline it and ask to be called/messaged if that does indeed occur.
  • Step 2: For all meetings at which you are actually required, always make sure they fit into your schedule in a way that allows you to be productive outside of the meeting.  Your focus times should be at least 60-90 minutes in length.  Even if you are only trying to get one good focus time in a particular day, make sure the meeting times support YOUR window.  Propose new times for those meetings that don’t work for you.
  • Step 3: Always seek to shorten the meeting length.  I’ll discuss this further below, but suffice it say, most meetings are twice as long as they need to be simply because the attendees are trying to do multiple things during the meeting, rather than just focus.  If the meeting request is for 60 minutes, see if the organizer will shorten it to 30 minutes.

OK, you may be thinking to yourself, “But what if my boss….”, or “I don’t want to miss….”, or “The customer ….”, or “We have a regular group meeting…”

  • You boss will never respect your time if you don’t first.  Most bosses will respect you more if command it.  Respecting your own schedule is a start.
  • You must decide what is important in YOUR WORLD, and ignore what is not.  This does take some discipline, but you have to recognize that just because you go to a bunch of meetings, that does not make you more important than somebody else.  The most important people, whether they are employees or entrepreneurs, are the ones that get useful stuff done.  The boss knows this, and if you are entrepreneur, well…if you don’t get stuff done, you don’t make money.
  • Sometimes your customer does demand a particular meeting with your presence for a particular time.  That doesn’t mean that you can’t attempt to fit it into your schedule.  It’s a negotiation.
  • You likely do have regular daily, weekly, monthly, or quarterly meetings with a regular group.  You may or may not contribute at each of these, but you presence is required.  OK, so be it.  But see below….DON’T MULTITASK.  Be present.

The reality is that sometimes, you will still find yourself attending meetings on somebody else’s schedule, and on topics that aren’t that beneficial to you.  But the point is, you can minimize these.  You have the power, you just need to wield it.

Never Multitask during Your Meetings

Multitasking (again, referring to using the same parts of your brain) is a top 5 productivity killer.  Just ask any ACTUAL successful person.  They will tell you focusing on one thing at a time is all your brain can actually do, therefore, enhance that ability by allowing it to focus on one thing at a time.  So don’t do it…If you are in a meeting, whether it is face-to-face or virtual, be fully present in the meeting.  Don’t work on other stuff while you attend the meeting in the background.

Here’s the great thing about changing your own attitude and approach to being present during your meetings: This absolutely rubs off on those around you, and in the end, it creates more efficient and useful and shorter meetings!  Shorter and more focused meetings are beneficial for everyone.  If you show up to a physical meeting with no laptop, and your phone is put away, and then you engage the other members…they will do the same.  Maybe not right at first, and maybe not that first meeting, because they also have fallen pray to the same human needs the you have.  But they will.  If you lead by example, that’s as good as demanding their attention.  And as time goes on, you will be known as one who demands focused meetings.

You also need some personal integrity here.  Let’s say you’re on that monthly town hall, but you are in listen only mode.  Well…you are there because the person who is holding it thinks the information he/she is presenting should be known by you.  Respect that, and the person, and don’t multitask.  Be present.

Summary

Try this out for one week.  Take next week and decline/reschedule your meetings so that your days will work for you and your ability to accomplish the things you need.  And then, make sure you are fully, and singly present at the meetings that are useful or necessary.

As always, please let me know your experience with these concepts!  Please connect with me and share this if you find it helpful.

Have a great day!

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