johnmaconline

You can’t control your genetics, but you can control your health.
You can’t control the weather, but you can control your preparedness.  
You can’t control others’ commitment, but you can control your commitment.
You can’t control how others feel about you, but you can control your feelings.
You can’t control external results or outcomes, but you can control your activities.
You can’t control what others say about you, but you can control what you tell yourself.
You can’t control news or social media, but you can control what and how much you consume.
You can’t control where or when you were born, but you can control what you do, what you know, and who you know.
You can’t control whether the executives cancel your project, but you can control your professional skills and value to the organization or another organization.  

We live in a constant tension between what we can’t and what we can control. The things we can’t control are part of The World. The things you can control are part of Your World. 

Do you want to stop worrying, take control, and start having more happiness and success in your life? Recognize this tension and focus on Your World. 

“Yes” opens the doors to new opportunities, enriches your life with experiences, and expands your network. You never get anywhere or do anything with saying “yes.”

“No” promotes focus, filters out distractions, and swats away the flies of faux-busyness. “No” allows you to hone your most significant contributions.

Yes is about breadth. No is about depth.

But both can be an excuse — an excuse not to forge a new path, or an excuse not to finish what you’ve started. There is constant tension between the two.

They key to navigating this tension in any given situation is to look to your comfort zone. Ask yourself, “Which is harder for me in this situation?” Your comfort zone is a reliable guide, flagging what you probably should be doing. The choice that nudges you out of that zone is often the right one.

You’ll have to say “yes” until you find it, and then you gotta start saying “no.”

Balancing the two is not about adhering to external advice but about tuning in to your internal compass, guided by the subtle tension between comfort and growth.

Is it OK for authorities to listen to phone calls of someone suspected of plotting a terrorist act? What if that suspicion is based solely on a group affiliation?
Is it OK to peek in your neighbor’s windows if you suspect they’re up to no good? What if that suspicion is based solely on the fact that you think they’re weird?
Is it OK to access your child’s browser history if you suspect them of visiting forbidden sites? What if that suspicion is based solely on the fact that you remember what you were like as a kid?
Is it OK for authorities to search someone’s car if they are suspected of having weapons? What if that suspicion is based solely on time and location?

Privacy and safety are always in tension.

You can’t have both perfectly. But perhaps that tension isn’t a problem to be solved but a dynamic to be managed. What if this tension is the very thing that keeps our society in balance, compelling us to continually assess and reassess the boundaries we set? This constant friction might serve as a societal ‘check and balance,’ ensuring neither privacy nor safety is taken to an extreme that could jeopardize the fabric of our communities.

We might not need to resolve this tension but to embrace it, recognizing that its very existence helps us stay vigilant, mindful, and, ultimately, human.

Although not opposites, efficiency and resilience are orthogonal.

Efficiency follows from centralized, standard, high-density, and common. In contrast, resilience follows from distributed, heterogeneous, low-density, and unique.

Efficiency thrives on optimization — doing more with less, reducing waste, and maximizing outputs. Resilience, on the other hand, is about having the ability to adapt and recover — not having too much power or functionality in one area of the system.

But beautiful, elegant, and worthy systems — whether business, society, or individual lives — bring facets of both to the table.

The art lies in recognizing how to balance that tension.

We should follow the rules. But what set of rules, and who makes them?
We should do what’s best. But for whom and who decides what’s best?
We should help each other live a good life. But what is a good life?

The tension between what “should be” and what “is” permeates the very fabric of our human existence — a philosophical battleground that spurs introspection, motivates change, and fuels discontent.

The “should be” often finds its roots in our dreams, aspirations, and the morals and ethics we uphold. It’s the world we envision: a place of equality, fairness, and boundless opportunity. The realm where dreams materialize, and justice prevails. But who’s dreams? And justice for who?

In stark contrast, “what is” represents the ground realities, the imperfections, the challenges, and the systemic structures already in place. It’s the world we live in, warts and all. It’s the pragmatic acknowledgment of the present that for sure falls short of our vision of the ideal.

This chasm can be a source of frustration, igniting passion, driving innovation, and spur movements. But there is always tension because of who decides and to what standards.

There is beauty in the tension. You think about what should be. I think about what should be. We both struggle with what is. Together we move us forward.

We scoff at those who display what we consider to be unearned confidence.

We call them arrogant and cocky, and smart people start labeling with smart labels such as Dunning-Krueger.

Basically, how dare they?

They didn’t earn the credentials. They didn’t wait in line. They didn’t start in the mail room. They didn’t check the boxes. They don’t have the experience.

All of this is true, of course. Who doesn’t want someone with the credentials and the experience? Many times, we need that person. When I had my shoulder replaced, I was looking for the team with the most experience — the most amount of “been there, done that.” Because I wanted each step to be routine. From the prep, the hardware, anesthesia, surgery, and post-op recovery. All as routine as possible.

But also, how do we find new solutions? How does one break out of the box? How does anybody do anything new? How do we create work that matters? How does one make a difference?

Through confidence that isn’t necessarily learned or earned because it comes through belief.

Who doesn’t want to be free?

I sure do.

But also, with freedom comes chaos, responsibility, danger, rif-raf, people not like us, consequences, grit, faster, slower, sharks, and a natural meritocracy.

So we have introduced order. With order comes stability, safety, expectations, people like us, understanding, systems, soft pillows, groomed beauty, and a plan.

We rarely argue over whether we need freedom or order. Not really. Mostly, we argue where the line is.

A religious debate, and I’ve always taken one side.

My side has always been the delayed gratification side.

“Good things come to those who wait.”
“He that can have patience can have what he will.”
“The seeds of greatness are often planted in the soil of patience.”

I’ve seen and experienced the fruits of patience. But I also realize, when I’m being truthful with myself, that I’ve used patience as an excuse.

I’ve not started or not completed a million projects because “I’ll have time, someday.” I’ve not looked for new opportunities because “they’ll come when the time is right.” I’ve not taken the trips because “maybe now isn’t the best time.”

I used to think, “I got 40 or 50 years to make it happen.” But age is a funny thing.

I no longer have 40 or 50 years to make it happen. How many? Who knows. But now the clock is ticking. Louder. Clearer. Each tick echoing with urgency.

I am now becoming acutely aware of this veil that masks procrastination, the voice that whispers comforting lies about infinite tomorrows. I see the constant tension between the present and the eternal, between action and waiting. And somewhere in the intersection of these, life unfolds. But there’s a profound difference between patience and passivity.

While I remain an advocate for the wisdom in waiting, I can no longer use it as an excuse to not to.

About 18 months ago, I had my right shoulder replaced. Before I went under, the doctor confirmed which shoulder to upgrade and marked it with his initials.

This marking practice is common among surgeons to prevent errors. It’s a simple system, but highly effective at eliminating avoidable errors. It ensures everyone involved, from the patient to the medical team, is aligned.

And operating on the wrong shoulder is indeed an avoidable error.

My youngest son started a lawn care and landscaping business two summers ago. I taught him a foolproof method that I used to ensure his trailer was securely attached.

Because the trailer disconnecting as you drive down the road is indeed an avoidable error.

My father was a pilot. I watched and helped him apply a rigorous pre-flight checklist prior to engine start, taxi, and takeoff.

Because an accident due to improper clearance around the propeller is indeed an avoidable error.

Systems and procedures are the perfect antidote for avoidable errors. If that’s the problem you’re having, devise a system, teach the system, and stick to the system.

Unfortunately, you can’t, nor should you seek to avoid all errors. Failing forward is an unavoidable part of growth and innovation. While it’s essential to have systems in place for predictable scenarios, it’s equally crucial to stick your neck out.

Life is a blend of caution and courage. While systems protect us from known pitfalls, embracing the unknown equips us with resilience and adaptability.

Success lies within the tension.