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Daily one-pagers about AI, leadership, technology, and being human.

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April 8, 2020 6 minute read

How to Avoid Distractions When Working From Home

ActionActivityBusiness

It’s not about self-discipline. If it was, I’d have no hope.

I’m not a Navy Seal nor a Buddhist monk. I’m not disciplined enough.

If I’m not on my game, I’m like Dug the dog in the movie Up. There are squirrels all over the place, and I can’t stop chasing them. Next thing I know, it’s the end of the day and nothing got done.

However, I found a great tool that helps me avoid distractions when I’m working from home. That tool is creating an environment that inherently heads off my triggers of distraction.

The great news is that it’s not difficult to create your own environment that addresses your triggers and helps you avoid distractions when working from home.

3 Steps to Create an Environment To Avoid Distractions

Step 1 is to stop beating yourself up about a lack of self-discipline. Instead, take a breath, acknowledge it, and know that you can build an environment that will help you.

Step 2 is to become aware of your internal distraction triggers.

Is it the dishes in the sink or the lawn that needs mowing? Is it the email popup, or the text message buzz, or the Facebook messenger ding? Is it the kids walking in and asking what’s for lunch? Is it the incessant barking of the neighbor’s dog?

Or maybe, like it is for me as I write this, it’s the ungodly smell emanating from the fresh manure just spread in the field across the street.

Step 3 is to dive in, work with what you can, and start to build an environment that will address those triggers. Try stuff, test it, and adjust. It may change over time, and that’s perfectly OK.

Here are a few that I’ve implemented that may help you as well.

Create a Physical Space

A physical space may be the most important thing you can create to help eliminate distractions.

Walking to, and then sitting down at that space helps your mindset switch into work mode, and signals to the others around you that you are now working. It’s worth giving up some area of your home to create this (semi-) permanent space.

Don’t bring non-work related devices or distractions into that space. For example, if you have an iPad that you use for reading, or games, or browsing, don’t keep it within an arms reach in your “workspace”. If you wouldn’t have it in your office, don’t have it on your desk at home.

Either before you start the day, or at the conclusion of your day’s end, make this space conducive to your personal needs.

For example, my wife requires a level of cleanliness in her space. If it’s a mess, she’s totally distracted and can’t get started. She must start the day with her space neat and tidy.

For me, it’s continuity from the previous day. When I sit down to start working, I want it to be like it was when I finished yesterday. That helps me jump right back into where I left off.

Set Boundaries With Your Family

You gotta have the conversation, even if you have little kids.

“When I’m sitting here, between these times, I’m working. Unless the house is on fire, or someone is bleeding, please don’t interrupt me.”

Start there. Make sure everyone has been told about your working hours, and your working space, and the expectation of no interruptions.

Of course, there will still be interruptions. They are inevitable, even if the house isn’t on fire. When this happens, learn the phrase “Yes, but how about this evening or later today?” Or, “Yes, I would love to hear about that, but can we talk about it later?”

Here’s the key to using those phrases: you MUST follow through. Don’t let them be an empty promise, or you lose trust, and the phrases lose their power. Even 4-year olds (especially 4-year olds) will hold you to the fire on this.

Unlike in an office where you are physically separate, your home and work lives are now integrated. Realistic boundaries have to reflect that. In the office, you get 8 hours. At home, maybe you get chunks of 1-3 hours. Find what works.

Give yourself and your family members grace, and a period of transition. But set those boundaries.

Prioritize Your Day With A Clear Head

Create a morning and/or a night-before routine.

As part of that routine, plan out your priorities for the day, especially the #1 priority. If all else goes to hell, you want to make some level of progress on the #1 priority.

The power in doing this planning with a clear head is that it helps you control your reaction to the inevitable interruptions.

I recommend a system such as the Eisenhower Principle for prioritization. Simply being aware of Quadrant 1 distractions has helped me avoid them and stay focused on what matters.

Schedule Dark-Mode Periods During Your Day

Go off the grid for 1 or 2 periods during your day.

These are intentionally scheduled time periods (30-90 minutes) where you turn off all notifications from your devices, including work-related notifications.

Those notifications are like crack. I love them, you love them. Nobody has the discipline to ignore them, especially when we’re in an easily distracted state to begin with. So just turn them off, and that solves the problem.

I picked this up from Darren Hardy and his Insane Productivity method. It’s applicable in any work environment, but it’s been especially helpful when working from home.

Scheduling dark-mode periods helps you create time-blocks of intention, and a virtual “door is closed” for others who may distract you.

Work Socially

Stay hooked in with your colleagues and team throughout your day.

If your work is mostly solitary, find a work-from-home or other solitary worker community to which you can connect.

The feeling of isolation creates the perfect mental breeding ground for distractions. The more you stay connected, the less easy it is to become distracted.

You Can Do This

You don’t need the self-discipline of a Buddhist monk or Navy Seal.

You just need to create an environment, built around your own triggers, that helps you avoid those distractions. To do so:

  • Create a space
  • Set boundaries with your family
  • Prioritize your day with a clear head
  • Schedule dark-mode periods during your day
  • Work socially

You can do this.

April 6, 2020 4 minute read

An Optimistic View of a New Normal for Community

Leadership

I have never been accused of being an optimist (just ask my family), but right now I’m more optimistic than ever about the future of the global community.

The current COVID-19 crisis has given us a first-ever prototype in the history of our species and planet. We are prototyping True Global Conversation.

This conversation is helping us work through what it means to truly come together and solve problems on the global level.

It’s helping us build a global community that not only acknowledges our commonality but celebrates our differences without animosity.

True Global Awareness and Conversation

What COVID-19 has right now, at this moment in history, is global awareness on a level that has never been realized before.

Of the between 7 and 8 billion people on this planet, I think it’s reasonable to estimate that 6B+ are aware of, and actively discussing the coronavirus.

Here’s the map of infections on the day I write this:

From covid19info.live

Even in countries with zero confirmed cases, it’s hard to believe that most people aren’t aware. Plus, a closer look at which countries are reporting zero cases raises an eyebrow.

For my whole 50 years, we’ve been talking about economies, wars, environmental issues, health issues, etc on the so-called “global level.” However, in all of those cases, it’s hard to imagine an effect of which 6B+ people are aware of and actively discussing on a daily basis.

In comparison to COVID-19, all of those now look like “regional” issues…even the “world” wars.

One could make an argument that global warming affects us, or will affect us, at the same level. One could make an argument that lifestyle diseases currently affect us on the same level, or even worse, in terms of death and disability.

But neither of these issues has the universal awareness nor conversation that COVID-19 does.

An Opportunity for New Forms of Community

Community had already been changing, or at least new forms of community have been evolving.

The internet, smartphones, and high bandwidth data almost anywhere has unshackled the need for community built around physical proximity. We’ve learned to become comfortable with communication through screen interaction as an alternative to physical interaction.

There are those that have been beating the drum of how technology has been killing community, killing conversation, and killing personal interaction.

Of course, there’s a kernel of truth in there. We can hide behind these technologies, or they can be used maliciously. Plus, we’re human beings. Physical interaction will always be something we crave and need.

But we’ve been collectively prototyping new forms of community for the last several years. We’ve been learning what it feels likes to build virtual communities and solve problems across physical boundaries.

And now is the moment to cash in on what we’ve learned for the good of world.

A Bright New Normal For Community

Community may be forever changed, or at the very least enhanced.

And we’re ready.

The last 15 years has given us the opportunity to figure it out.

We’ve learned about new channels of global discussion and problem-solving.

We’ve learned how to conduct business, how to build relationships, and how to keep a family together virtually.

We’ve learned about what it means to walk in another’s shoes, if even for an instant, and view life from another’s perspective.

Regardless of the lasting effect of COVID-19 on you, your family, or your community, maybe you, like me, have caught a glimpse of how the future can look so bright.

Once the crisis has passed, physical communities will grow back and thrive. We want and need them to. But so will the communities and conversations we’ve built virtually.

And that is the cause of my optimism.

Prior to the COVID-19 crisis, there seemed to be a trend of more and more people retreating towards the huckster that is “self-made” and the charlatan that is “I can do this myself”. But hasn’t the current situation shown us that we need community more than ever?

Now we know how to build it in today’s world on the local, regional, national, and global levels.

March 31, 2020 5 minute read

How to Keep Your Remote Team Productive and Happy

Leadership

This is quite an unprecedented time we’ve been thrust into.

Over the last several weeks and months, a large subset of the global workforce has moved from the traditional office environment to the work-from-home remote environment. It’s happened quickly, and in many cases, without the company’s or the employee’s desire to do so.

But here you are.

One way to see this is that it’s a temporary state. You may be reading this article because you’re just trying to keep your company or your team going over the next few weeks and months until you can go back to normal.

Welcome, and thank you. The tips I offer here will help you do just that.

They apply to your remote workforce whether it is a temporary or permanent situation.

But I wonder. I wonder if when the COVID-19 crisis has passed, how much change to the standard office environment has become permanent.

I suspect a fair amount, at least in some industries. A remote workforce makes so much sense on so many levels, most notably to the bottom line.

I’ve been a successful remote worker, and have led successful teams of hybrid office/remote workers for several years now. It’s not always been easy, but I’ve learned quite a bit about how to make it work.

Here I offer you some of the most important things I’ve learned about keeping a remote team both happy and productive.

The Challenge and Benefit to Working From Home

The key to keeping your remote team productive and happy is to embrace differences between the home and office environments, enhance the benefits of working from home, and to equip your team to foster community and conversation.

There is an obvious fundamental difference between the office environment and the remote environment.

The difference is that home life and work-life are now integrated, by definition. This can be the single largest challenge for many workers. Going to the office provided a physical and mental transition into their work persona.

How do you embrace this difference, rather than fight it?

There are also great benefits, most notably time and expenses. There is no more commute. The home kitchen is steps away. Suddenly, the 3rd grade’s 20-minute presentation of Christopher Columbus’s arrival at the new world looks like something a parent should and can attend (once the kids are back in school).

How can you enhance this integrated work-home life?

One of the benefits of the office environment is the community and the conversation that is effortless. This environment, when healthy, leads to the focusing of the team’s purpose and energy.

Working from home can make you feel isolated and unmotivated. It can be mentally and emotionally draining. To combat this, you can purposefully design community and conversation into the workday through tools and behaviors.

How can you equip your team to best foster community and conversation, and hence productivity?

Do This

Use these a guide to create a happy and productive remote team.

Help Each Team Member Get Settled

The first and most important thing to do is help your team get settled at home. Help each member implement these 4 tips to help them love working from home:

  1. Create a space
  2. Find a routine
  3. Take breaks
  4. Work socially

Give Them the Tools and Use Them to Work Socially

Put a proper toolset in place that fosters community and conversation. Email ain’t it (for the love all things good and righteous, it’s NOT email). Install and use tools such as Slack, Zoom, and MS Teams. These tools make private and group conversations effortless and useful. Even “non-business” tools such as Google Hangouts and WhatsApp are better than email for community and conversation.

Be the leader of “working socially“. Set the standard and lead by example. Working socially helps fight the isolation and keeps the conversation going.

Always have your video on when in meetings. Having your video on helps others to be comfortable doing the same. When all or most have their video on, it helps foster community, conversation, and comfort.

Establish Daily Contact

Pick one time per day to have a quick video meeting for status or any other catch-up conversation. Start with every day, but find the weekly rhythm that works best. When people have wins to report, be sure to recognize them. Ditto with wins for the company and team.

Respect and Empower

Ensure each member knows what is expected of them and are empowered to control their own destiny. Empower through tools, responsibility, and trust.

Establishing a Set of Virtual Office Hours?

Maybe. However, don’t start there.

Instead, respect each team member’s schedule, and allow a large degree of flexibility. They’re getting used to the integration of home and work and that likely requires a schedule adjustment period.

Consider alternate times for meetings. Does 7 am work better than 10 am now that no one is commuting?

Encourage each team member to socialize their availability throughout the day. An easy method for this is status indicators in tools such as Slack, Zoom, and MS Teams. You can also use the calendar.

A productive work community does not require a commitment to a daily schedule, but it does require a commitment to one another. Encourage the commitment to one another.

In Summary

Developing and then keeping a productive and happy team is all about embracing the differences between the home and office environments, enhancing the benefits of working from home, and equipping your team to foster community and conversation.

The schedules are jumbled. The distractions are greater. The isolation can be real.

Acknowledge these challenges, rather than ignore them.

Success requires a new form of team community and conversation. Foster and build that community through the use of modern tools, and setting an example of working socially.

Whether this is a bump in the road or your new normal, you can do this.

Today’s world is better equipped than ever for developing happy and productive remote teams.

March 30, 2020 2 minute read

Why a Season of Solitude Might Be Exactly What You Need

Mindset

Solitude has been used as a punishment since the dawn of recorded history.

What’s the highest level of punishment levied in ancient civilizations? Banishment…solitude.

What’s the highest level of punishment levied by organized religion? Excommunication…solitude.

What’s the highest level of punishment levied in a modern prison? Solitary confinement…solitude.

The Challenge

Solitude can be the greatest challenge, especially when forced upon you.

Solitude works as punishment because isolation and loneliness suck the life out of us. We’ve known that instinctively, and now scientifically since the very beginning of our existence.

The Opportunity

But a season of solitude also provides a unique opportunity.

It’s an opportunity to recharge, refocus, and recommit. To elevate the priority of some things that seemed less important a short time ago. To try new things or rediscover your love for old things. To follow your heart or mind in a direction that didn’t seem possible before.

Jesus, Ghandi, Buddha, Nietzsche, Thoreau, Shakespeare, Newton…whether it was forced or by choice, physical or mental, all of these great figures knew and used some form of solitude to their (and our) benefit.

If they could use it, can you?

What can you create?

What can you learn?

What can you read?

What can you write?

What can you think?

What new direction can you explore?

What old hobby that once brought you joy can you pick up again?

To whom can you reconnect?

With whom can you connect deeper?

What emotional wounds can you address and work through?

The Charge

Transform your perspective.

Your possibilities are literally endless, but it takes perspective. A perspective of gratitude, of opportunity, and of possibility.

If you can find that perspective, a season of solitude may be exactly the thing that gets you unstuck, or on the right track, or more productive, or completely changes your life as you now know it.

Give it a chance.

March 26, 2020 9 minute read

4 Tips to Help You Love Working From Home

ActionActivityMindset

Whether you’ve been forced to work from home, or are doing it voluntarily, it can be daunting at first. But with the proper mindset and environment, it can be the single best thing you’ve done in your work life.

I’ve been a full-time remote worker for several years now. Not only doing my thing but leading a team of people, some of whom are remote and some of whom are in the office.

Working from home is almost like having a teleporter, getting a raise, and installing Maxwell Smart’s Cone of Silence.

But to do it effectively and be happy, you need the mindset of committing to the workday, an environment that fosters that mindset, and you will need to stave off the feeling of isolation that can occur without the physical office.

My Journey to Working From Home Full Time

My journey from office to full-time working from home started about 15 years ago, in the middle of the night.

At the time, I was a programmer on a software development team that had a lot to do, in a short period of time. To keep my head above water, I’d sit down at my home computer in the kids’ playroom after they went to bed and write code for a couple more hours.

One late night, lamenting the little sleep I’d get before having to commute into the office in a few hours, it struck me:

“I sure am productive by myself. Wouldn’t it make sense if I eliminated the distractions of the office and the hour and a half of commuting per day?”

So I tried it one day a week, and it was a disaster. My internet speed sucked, I was constantly distracted by what was going on in the house, I felt isolated from the team, and by lunchtime, I was totally unmotivated. In fact, within a few weeks, I abandoned it.

Over the next few years, I occasionally tried again for various reasons with mixed results.

Fast forward a couple years, and now with an oppressive, 3-hour per day and expensive commute from my rural town to center-city Philly, I tried again out of pure self-preservation. I tried 1 or 2 days per week working from home.

By this time, several imporgant changes had occurred.

My home internet speed was just as good as the office. The team I worked with was geographically diverse, so we had a culture and toolset that supported remote working. I now had my own space in my home. And most importantly: I was mentally committed…this HAD to work.

Then I got laid off, and a full-time remote opportunity presented itself. Bolstered by my recent positive experiences, I jumped at it.

Currently, not only do I work from home, but I lead my team from home. So I’ve learned some stuff that I can share with you.

I’ve learned what works for me, and what keeps me happy and productive. I’ve also learned what helps other individuals and remote teams be happy and productive when working remotely.

Here are my 4 tips to help you love working from home.

Create a Space

Creating a physical space helps bridge the mental transition to the workday, and sets boundaries for the others in the house.

Working from home full-time, or even just for a full day, is not the same as sending a couple of emails after dinner. It can’t be done from your bed or the couch.

Effective working from home requires a mindset commitment to the workday, just as if you were going to the office. Having a physical space helps transition your mindset, just as your commute did before.

Once you set some physical boundaries, your mind can transition easier, and you will be able to more effectively stem outside interruptions.

At the office, everybody’s on the same schedule, but at home, the schedules clash. You can’t run your day interrupt-driven from your family and expect to be successful.

This may be your biggest challenge, but it’s worth sacrificing something else (den, bedroom space, workshop, rarely-used living or dining room, etc).

Find a spot that you can go to each day. Set up your big monitor and docking station. Layout your favorite pen and notebook. Leave this stuff there just as you would at your desk in an office.

When you go to this space and sit, you are going to the office.

Find Your Routine

When you commute to an office, you have a routine.

What does that look like for you now?

Get up, take a shower, get dressed, get the tea or coffee, grab the laptop…get in the car, queue up the podcast…35 minutes later you’re at the office.

This routine is critical in transitioning your mind and body into the workday in the morning, and out of the workday in the evening. These transitions occur naturally when you commute.

One challenge of working from home is the integration of home and work thwarts that natural transition. You’re unmotivated to start your workday, and that turns into difficulty staying engaged throughout, which then leads to a challenge in being fully present with your family in the evening.

It took me a while to find what works for me, and it shifts around a bit. My routine currently doesn’t look exactly like it did a couple of years ago. But when I’m on my game, it always involves these 4 elements:

  1. Intention to start the day
  2. Priming my mind
  3. Priming my body
  4. Creating a ToDo list with a clear head prior to the firefights and distractions of the day

How do you find what works for you?

Try different things. Start with something similar to what you do today. Start with taking a shower and getting dressed as if you were going to the office. Maybe even keep the travel piece, but substitute a walk.

Give yourself some time. Test different things. Know that somedays you’re going to struggle, and that’s OK.

Take Breaks

Like a commute creates a natural routine, the office environment naturally provides mental breaks in your day.

Lunchtime…watercooler conversation…meetings…a trip to the coffee machine…a walk around the block or out to the car…

Done right, breaks can be your superpower. Not taken or done wrong, and you can derail the rest of your day and leave yourself mopy or agitated.

How do you design breaks into your day?

Like your routine, try stuff and adjust, but start with a lunch break.

If you don’t normally take a lunch break, start taking one. If your normal thing at the office is to take a walk at lunch, do it at home. If, like me, you typically workout at lunchtime, then do that. If it’s running an errand or two, then do some of that.

A warning: there is a fine line between productive breaks and unproductive distractions and interruptions, especially when working from home. Setting boundaries helps with distractions and interruptions. Taking physical breaks does as well.

Work Socially

This is the MOST IMPORTANT one.

It is the single biggest factor in helping me remain productive and happy, as well as building a productive and happy remote team.

This is the one that will help you stave off those feelings of isolation and keep you engaged and productive.

The great news is that it’s also not that hard. In fact, for introverts (like me), using your remote toolset to work socially can be better than sitting in an office full of people.

What does “work socially” mean?

Fostering conversation and community around work, but also around life.

It means communicating with your coworkers as if you, and they, were physically together.

How do you do that?

It’s likely that you have tools such as Slack, MS Teams, Zoom, etc. Use them instead of email for conversation (oh please gawd…NOT email). Email is the enemy of fostering community in a healthy remote workforce.

Email itself is great. But its purpose is not conversation and community. Email is for documentation, publishing, and formal communication. All stuff you need to do in the course of your day. But it’s not a tool for working socially.

These other tools make real-time conversation effortless. Real-time conversation helps develop a community similar to the office environment.

Which brings up the big one. And you’re going to have to get over it…

Turn your video ON in meetings and in 1-on-1 conversations. Once I committed to it, I found that it not only helped me, but it helped the others on the calls also feel more comfortable turning their own video on.

When everyone has their video on, it’s like you’re sitting around the conference room table. It’s almost like you’re in the office.

And the potpourri of weird stuff in the background of your video? That just enhances the conversation.

Fostering and participating in conversation and community are the keys to working socially. And working socially is the single biggest factor that will help you love working from home.

A Warning For Leaders

If you are a leader, “working socially” is NOT micromanagement.

It’s NOT hounding your people every hour, or several times per day for status updates. It’s not checking the VPN logs to ensure so-and-so was logged in the appropriate number of hours today.

A healthy community requires trust.

Even when proper boundaries have been set, working from home is an integration of home life and work life. It has to be, and quite frankly, that’s one of it’s biggest benefits.

Embrace and understand that integration for your team. Productivity results from the tips above. Help the members of your team implement these.

In Summary

Give yourself some grace.

This may not be easy, especially if it was forced on you.

It may take a few days or a few weeks, but if you’re committed you’ll figure it out.

You may even find that you’re more productive and happy in this situation. That’s certainly true for me now, but it did take time, and it took figuring out how to build my mindset and environment to work for me, instead of against me.

Hopefully, with these tips, you can get there quicker.

January 24, 2020 3 minute read

What a Child Can Teach Us About How a Producer Spends Money vs How a Consumer Spends Money

Personal Investment

I won’t lie. The “Aha!” moment I describe below has me wanting to slap my younger self right upside the head.

However, it perfectly illustrates the essence of how a producer spends money vs how a consumer spends money.

Spending Like a Producer…As a Child

On a recent James Altucher podcast, and he told a story that perfectly captured the essence of how a producer spends money. Episode 532, if you are interested.

The thing that made the story so fascinating was that it was from his childhood.

When he was a kid, he had a paper route making about $100. He also was obsessed with chess, and wanted to get better. So he would take $70 of that $100 and pay a mentor to play and teach him chess.

And there it is. That’s the essence: investment.

That’s exactly what separates the producer from the consumer with spending money.

What was his goal? Get better at chess.

How does he achieve it? He uses money as a tool to invest.

He was investing in getting better at chess.

You may say, “Chess is just a game. He was spending it on a game. That’s not investment.”

Yes it was, or at least the concept is the same. He was learning how to use the tool of money to make progress. To get better. To produce. He was investing in his ability to produce in the chess world.

Naturally, now I’m asking myself why he was so aware and mature at that age, and I wasn’t. At that age, I was spending my money exactly as any consumer does: distraction. I was dropping it in the video arcade, the soda shop, and the record shop.

The Essence is Investment

The rub is that investment rarely pays off instantly, or even quickly. Investment usually requires delayed gratification.

That’s what makes investment so hard for most consumers. We are a culture of instant gratification and distraction. Give it to me today, tomorrow at the latest. Yesterday is even better.

Investment takes many forms, but it’s the key to spending money as a producer.

Do you want to get unstuck? Break out of mediocrity? Make changes in your career?

Use your money to invest, not distract.

I’m thankful that I now understand this concept, and we’ve been able to reap rewards. My family spends a good portion of our money investing in all sorts of things like our health, experiences, business, new ideas, learning, financial instruments, etc.

But I can’t help wanting to go back and kick the 12-year old me right in the ass. Imagine how much farther along I would be now if I would’ve thought like James did as a kid.

January 15, 2020 7 minute read

The 3 “Magic” Steps to Success

ActionActivityMindset

Forget about it. If you’re here to unearth the secrets, the magic steps to success, close this window. You won’t find them here.

There are no magic steps, and there aren’t any secrets.

But that’s why you’re here. Looking for the magic. Looking for why you haven’t found success yet.

You fear never making it. You fear continued mediocrity. You fear never getting over the stuck feeling. You fear that at the end of your life, you’ll meet the person you could have become, but didn’t.

I feel you, because that’s my list.

My goal here is to save you some time and effort, and help bring to light what you already know to be true. Hopefully, then you can quit beating yourself up, stop procrastinating, get past being an amateur, and start turning pro.

The Bullshit and the True

A google search on “steps to success” delivers almost 500M results. A google search on “secrets to success” delivers over 387M results.

All of this advice is equally bullshit and powerfully correct. It’s a boiling sea of conflicting messages…all of it contextual.

I think I’ve read them all. Yet here I sit. I’m writing this not as my full time gig, but as something I fit into the cracks of the day consumed by my day job.

The conclusion: I don’t need more information.

Neither do you need more information about how to be successful. You didn’t miss the “steps to success” day in 11th grade. Nobody was awarded the secrets to success when they were meditating in India with a guru. I’ve never taken Ayahuasca, but I’d be willing to bet that won’t give them to you either.

The Steps to Success

The simple fact is that there’s no magic, and no set of secrets, but there is a common theme that emerges…a framework that you can apply.

Here’s how I see it. Simple, but not easy.

Intention

Intention matters.

What is it you’d like to do? What does success even mean?

Without intention, outcomes are random.

Without good intentions, outcomes are tainted.

If the QB makes the wrong read, but throws the touchdown pass anyway, what happens the next 5 or 10 times?

Intention is you grabbing control of your mindset and taking ownership. The genesis of all change is mindset.

Note that intention doesn’t mean well-ruminated 5-year plan. It just means you are now headed in a direction.

They say, “Good intentions pave the way to hell.” They’re wrong.

Intention is where you summon the muse.

Participation

Show up…consistently.

Start doing the thing, and then keep doing it. Even when you don’t feel like it.

As Steven Pressfield would say: the amateur shows up when he feels like it, the pro shows up everyday.

Start turning pro.

Sit down and write. Grab your running shoes and run, even if its raining. Build the web page. Sit in the pew each Sunday. Record your online course. Work on the business plan.

You may dream about the award around your neck, but you won’t feel its cool metal edges on the skin of your chest unless you put your miles in.

When you participate, the muse takes notice of your seriousness.

Mastery

Now go get good.

To get good, you will have to master the required skillset.

The tortoise only beats the hare because the hare is an amateur. He shows up for the race, but hasn’t mastered how to run the race. The tortoise masters the running of the race.

If the hare was a master, there’s no contest, and no story.

When you master the skill set, the muse jumps down in the trench alongside you and grabs her bazooka.

What is Mastery?

How good do you need to be? How do you become a master?

Mastery Starts with a Beginner Mindset

The master started by setting his ego aside and becoming a beginner.

The beginner is humble and recognizes he will need help. The beginner steps out of his comfort zone. He sets aside what he thinks he knows, and is willing to start fresh.

Beginners gather information. They learn from other masters. They may go to school, read books, listen to podcasts, and take courses. They definitely invest.

But information only takes you so far. Information cannot make you a master.

Read that again: Information cannot make you a master.

The amateur stops at beginner. He stops at gathering the information.

The amateur can make good dinner conversation, but he hasn’t made a contribution that matters. That’s where the line is drawn, because across the line of contribution lies the emotional danger.

Masters Are Producers

The master turns from consumer to producer.

He does stuff, and he continues to participate. He takes the information, finds his voice in it, and starts producing. The master makes the phone calls.

The master gets comfortable being uncomfortable. He tries the things that might not work.

Mastery requires going through the hard. There are no shortcuts, or ways around, or tunnels underneath. There is only through.

The guru on the mountain may be a master, but not because he’s got a robe and a label. He’s a master because he’s dug into it, struggled with his own beliefs, argued with his teachers and peers, written about it, lived it, and is willing to teach it to you. The guru produces.

The social media influencer may be a master, but not because she’s beautiful and has a team of people around her. She’s a master because she’s built a network, mastered her distribution channel, mastered her content, adjusts the content accordingly, and exposes herself to the emotional danger from the public. The influencer produces.

Masters Remain Flexible and Current

The master is willing to question his own beliefs and his own methods. This may shake him to the core.

Beliefs are beginning assertions, and methods are test procedures. Sometimes they are wrong. As he produces, his output changes.

The master also knows that skill sets and philosophies are fluid and ever-changing, so he keeps up. He doesn’t keep up so that he knows the lingo and can talk a good game. He keeps up to discern progress from bullshit.

He employs progress, he eschews bullshit.

Masters Acknowledge Others and Luck/God/Universe

The master knows there is something bigger than himself into which he is connected. The master is one part of the whole.

Sometimes things fall into place for him, and he acknowledges this. He may consider it God, or the Universe, or fate, or the muse, or even incoherent luck, but he knows that the whole has contributed. He does not drink his own bathwater.

He also knows that he is not self-made and there is no such thing. The very concept of self-made is oxymoronic.

The master asks for review, takes criticism, and adjusts. Not for external validation, but for growth.

He gives credit. He is thankful for those before him and with him and who come after him. The master makes gratitude part of his daily practice.

Mastery is a Skill

Mastery is, in itself, a skill of the pro. It takes time and effort.

How much time? That depends on context.

Maybe 1 week, maybe 20 years.

How good does he have to get? That depends on context.

The first blog article ever published didn’t require masterful content, perfect grammar, and razor sharp SEO because it was a new invention…a novel idea…a unique experience at that time. With 500M+ blogs today, you better have something good to say, say it well, and understand how to build an audience.

In Summary

There is no magic set of steps to success, but there is a common framework that you can apply. You must find your voice, your context, and fill in your details. Nobody can do that for you.

Achieving your success takes all 3 steps.

Start with intention and participation. Then go get good. Master the required skillset.

Is it all worth it?

Ask yourself this: Will someone else be worse off if you aren’t successful?

January 7, 2020 8 minute read

How to Stand Out in the Apple Store…and in Life

ActionActivityMindset

As it turns out, it’s surprisingly simple.

Maybe not comfortable, though, which means it’s probably not easy. That’s always the rub, isn’t it?

The Promise of Mediocrity

In retrospect, I’ve spent most of my life trying not to stand out. Living life in the comfort zone. Trying to maximize my sameness, which is maximizing my mediocrity.

Sameness is comfortable. Mediocrity is comfortable. I love the comfort zone.

Do you remember this conversation:

“What made you choose him?”

“Well, I was just overwhelmed by how invisible he was. Just his shear mediocrity was hard to deny. It was so attractive.”

Me neither.

Yes, You Need to Stand Out

Want a promotion or a raise? You will need to stand out to your boss.

Want to sell your 2013 Honda Civic? Your post will need to standout amongst the 244 others on Craigslist.

Want to grow your business? Your message will need to stand out amongst your competition.

Want to win her heart? You will need to stand out amongst the 10 other dudes that also have great cars, great incomes, and great abs that are texting her.

Want to get the good assignment at work? You will need to stand out amongst your colleagues.

Want to build an audience and business around your blog? You will need to stand out amongst the 500 million other blogs.

The problem is that standing out is uncomfortable.

Standing Out in the Apple Store

Recently I was in an Apple Store a few times over the course of a week to get the keyboard in my laptop replaced.

I’m a veteran in the Apple Store, so I know what to expect. But walking in is always a little unnerving because I’m never quite sure what I’m supposed to do.

There’re people everywhere. There’s no counter or customer service desk or register at which to stand in line. There’s just a sea of customers and blue-shirted workers, all seemingly engaged.

Quite uncomfortable for this introvert. Sometimes I stand there for 20 minutes.

This time, however, I found an unknowing guide that has forever changed my Apple Store experience, and has taught me a life lesson in how to stand out.

As I was walking in for my first appointment that week, a man walked in in front of me. Actually, we got to the door simultaneously, and I held it for him, so he went in first.

Inside the door, there were 3 blue-shirts and a haphazard group of about 10 customers milling about in front of us. I did what I always do, hovered near the back of this pack, took out my phone and probably searched for “how to get waited on at an apple store“.

But I watched with amazement as this man found the correct blue-shirt guy, was checked-in, and redirected to a table to wait for help within 60 seconds.

Ten minutes later, after I waited my turn, and was finally checked in, I found myself standing next to him at our appointed table.

I floated outside of my introverted brain for just a second and summoned the courage to ask him, “How did you know that was our guy and get waited on so quickly?”

“I didn’t…but look around. What do you see?”

And he waited…and then continued when I had nothing.

“Every single customer in this store has their face buried in their device. The people waiting at the front, the people scanning the new products, the people waiting for service help…Including you.”

“Even the customers who are actually talking to someone. They’re talking with their faces buried in the device.”

“Knowing this, I simply walk in with my head up, and immediately make eye contact with and smile at the first worker I see inside the door.”

“Without breaking eye contact, I walk right around the group of people milling about and speak to that person. Most times this is the person who can check me in, but if its not, he or she just tells me who to go see, and then I repeat that process.”

I asked, “But don’t you feel bad about skipping the line?”

“Why? What line?”

“The people that you say are in line are not actually in line. There are no lines at an Apple Store. They are just standing there because they don’t know what to do. They saw a couple of other people standing there, so they followed.”

“Plus they are all looking at their phones, so most don’t even notice me. It’s easy to stand out here. Just don’t do the things that everyone else is doing.”

Huh…

On my next trip to the store a couple days later I walked right in, smiled at the first worker I saw, never broke eye contact, and was checked in within 60 seconds.

Lesson learned, tested, and set in stone.

Other Ways to Stand Out That You Didn’t Think Of

Here are a few other ways that work remarkably well in today’s culture. You can apply these and stand out at your work, in your business, in your marriage, with your kids, in your volunteer organization…wherever.

Be Patient

The internet, Wikipedia, Amazon Prime, Spotify, Netflix, text messaging, social media, laptops, smartphones…all amazing technologies and applications for which we are better off.

But they also trick you into feeling like everything should be immediate. If you’re not careful, you can slip into the trap of always making decisions based on instant gratification.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m the pot calling the kettle black on this one.

I’m currently moving some retirement funds from one provider to another. It HAS to be done through the US Mail, with envelopes, and paper, and forms with handwritten signatures. What year is this, 1992?

The process is currently at 5 weeks and counting. Are you kidding me? I can apply for, receive approval with a complete background check, and fund a brand new checking account with Capital One in less than 10 minutes. No papers necessary, including the transfer of funds into the account.

Here’s another one…

I’ve currently been waiting over 4 months for my Global Entry application to be accepted. Once accepted, who knows how long it will take to schedule the interview.

My trip was 2 months ago! I’m quite sure that the Global Entry program is able to meet its stated goal to “speed travelers through the process” by simply ignoring all applications.

So how will exhibiting some patience help you stand out?

What if you were willing to spend a few years mastering a skill or a set of skills?

In a negotiation, would you be willing to delay up front payment in order to reap more rewards on the backend?

Are you willing to do the tasks that no one else wants until the time is right?

Would you be willing to invest a small amount regularly over a long time?

Are you willing to wait for the right person?

Put Yourself On the Hook

Corporations and politics appear to promote those that have mastered the art of deflection of blame. So-called leaders moving up the ladder by taking credit after the fact, but never responsibility on the front end.

If you take a closer look, however, rarely do those who shun up-front responsibility make an impact.

Why? Because ultimately, we need to depend on someone.

We need leaders who have ideas and follow through. We need colleagues who are willing to try to solve problems. We need friends who can be counted upon. We need life partners who are committed to the long term.

But taking up-front responsibility is perilous. You risk emotional danger.

Taking that risk, however, is a great way to stand out in just about any situation.

It’s true, you may not be successful. You may have to take blame. Taking the blame is also a method for standing out.

Volunteer to make the phone calls.

Show up when you commit to be there.

Create and suggest ideas and solutions, not just point out problems.

Take sole blame for something that wasn’t necessarily your fault.

Commit to getting the job done by the end of the week.

The Lesson of How To Stand Out

It’s a 2-parter.

The first part is find a way to be different from everyone else around you. In the Apple Store, different is making eye contact, and not burying your face in a device.

For other parts of your life, maybe you can look different, sound different, say something different, think different, or act different. You may not need to be dramatically different, just a little.

The second is stop worrying about the phantom mob rules. In the Apple Store, there isn’t actually a line to stand in, so don’t stand in one.

To apply this elsewhere, maybe you don’t need a PhD, or another certification, or to wait for the yearly formal review process, or to ensure you meet all of the requirements on paper, or to submit a formal complaint, or to make more money, or have fancier clothes, or live in the right neighborhood, or to sit up front.

Standing out is uncomfortable, but actually quite simple.

December 11, 2019 4 minute read

Beware and Be Aware of Your Preferences

ActionActivityMindset

“I’d rather…”

It’s a simple phrase, and a simple thought in the moment.

In modern affluent society, adults make approximately 35000 decisions a day. Presumably you make these daily choices according to your preferences.

But which preferences?

The answer to that is critical for you to beware, and be aware.

Preferences Are Like an Onion (or Pyramid, or Neural Net)

Preferences can live in isolation.

I’d rather listen to heavy metal than jazz.

But they also live in context.

I’d rather listen to heavy metal when I’m driving, but smooth jazz during a dinner party.

Preferences also live within a complex set of contextual interdependencies with other preferences.

I’d rather run, but I’m training for a triathlon, and my plan calls for a swim today. Since my overarching preference is to maximize my performance in that triathlon, I will choose to swim.

There are layers, and hidden layers that stack and are interdependent, as well as contextual.

The Slippery Slope

“I’d rather…” can lead you down a slippery slope if you are not aware of those contextual interdependencies.

You might say, “I’d prefer to be healthy.”

But…

I’d rather have Coke instead of water.

I’d rather not schedule the colonoscopy.

I’d rather find a pill than a food solution.

I’d rather spend money on entertainment than quality food.

You might say, “I’d prefer to have a productive day.”

But…

I’d rather hit the snooze.

I’d rather do the easy task.

I’d rather give the appearance of being busy.

You might say, “I’d prefer to have more money.”

But…

I’d rather not live on a budget.

I’d rather my weekends were free.

I’d rather spend money on entertainment than a side business.

You might say, “I’d prefer to have a better marriage.”

But…

I’d rather not discuss the day.

I’d rather not get involved in her/his stuff.

I’d rather not expose myself to emotional danger.

You might say, “I’d prefer to not get laid off.”

But…

I’d rather be old school.

I’d rather not teach others what I do.

I’d rather do the things I already know how to do.

You might say, “I’d prefer to be a leader.”

But…

I’d rather stay in my lane.

I’d rather not put myself on the hook.

I’d rather complain about the current leadership.

You might say, “I’d prefer if people knew my name.”

But…

I’d rather stay in the back.

I’d rather not put myself out there.

I’d rather someone else do the presentation.

You might say, “I’d prefer if I could get somewhere in my life.”

But…

I’d rather stay right here.

I’d rather not make a plan.

I’d rather think that I am unlucky.

You might say, “I’d prefer to make an impact on this world.”

But…

I’d rather stay in my comfort zone.

I’d rather not try something that might fail.

I’d rather not make some people made at me.

A Bit About Preferences in Marketing Messages

Well done marketing speaks to your preferences. In fact, it requires your preferences because there are literally hundreds and thousands of choices to be made.

Smart marketing is never about convincing you. It’s about picking you as the intended audience and feeding you with the preferences you already have.

“Hey…you who likes blue widgets! You’re the smart one to like blue widgets because they’re the best! Good news: we have them over here.”

Smart marketing messages can bring positive or negative change to your world by speaking to your preferences…so beware and be aware.

How to Beware and Be Aware of Your Preferences

Here’s a tip that has helped me and has kept me moving forward on some important goals.

I evaluate my preferences against my comfort zone.

Is this “I’d rather…” choice keeping me in my comfort zone, which is then prohibiting me from reaching the larger goal or preference?

If so, I try to choose against it. It’s not easy, nor do I always succeed.

For example, writing these articles. My big-picture preference is to build an audience on which I can make a positive impact. Six months ago, my comfort zone was winning and I wasn’t even trying to write. I was giving in to the “I’d rather not write today” preference.

A funny thing happened, though. Even though I was failing to make the “correct” choice, I became aware that I was making this choice (and others) consciously. That conscious awareness has helped build my decision making skillset.

Whatever your overarching “I prefer…” statement is, you are probably making some connected “I’d rather…” choices that align, and some that don’t.

Be aware of the ones that align. Beware of the ones that don’t.

You can start by evaluating these choices against your comfort zone.

November 27, 2019 9 minute read

What A Fear of Heights Taught Me about Goal Setting

ActionActivityMindset

I suck at achieving goals.

I’ve disappointed myself time and time again.

Not for lack of “investing” in myself.

I’ve done all the things: read the blogs and books, watched the videos, and listened to the podcasts; taken the seminars, both professionally and personally; created the vision boards; used the success planners…

I have even coached my software development teams on how to create SMART goals for themselves.

For me personally, however, achievement of most of my important goals has continued to elude me.

But now I have a handle on why.

What I’ve realized is that I suck at achieving goals because I suck at setting goals.

Oddly enough, I have arrived at this understanding through examining why I am so terrified of heights.

My Fear of Heights

Heights make me weak kneed and hyperventilate.

Not all high places, however. I’m only afraid if I feel like there is a very real chance that I can fall.

I chose that verb in the above sentence intentionally. The fear is NOT based on an objective risk of falling. I’m terrified if I FEEL like there is a real risk of falling.

In other words, if I believe it can happen, it scares me.

What Makes My Knees Weak

At this point in my life, I know the ingredients that will cause that feeling.

All three of these components must be present.

  1. It’s gotta be high. How high? Well, that depends. Sometimes 15 feet is enough.
  2. I must be able to see straight down
  3. The railing/wall/safety bar between me and the great beyond is lower than my chest.

For example, standing at the edge of a cliff, or at the edge of my roof, or at the top of a lighthouse if the walkway has a low railing at the edge.

If any one of those three aren’t there, then I feel safe enough and am not afraid.

There are also a few condition enhancers that can spin the terror into orbit:

  • Not trusting the structure. For example, a wobbly ladder or standing too close to the top of the ladder.
  • Height plus exposure. For example, rock climbing, cresting the very top of the big hill on a roller coaster, or when the walkway on a tall bridge is on the outer edge.

These situations make me FEEL like I could actually fall. I can picture it happening. Sometimes I actually catch myself running through the scenario in my head.

I believe it can happen.

What Doesn’t Bother Me

Standing on the observation decks or roof decks of tall buildings.

I’m lucky enough to have been in many of the world’s highest buildings. I’ve been in those buildings in New York, Philadelphia, Chicago, Shanghai, San Francisco, and many others. Never once did I feel any uneasiness in those buildings.

The observation decks are typically either indoors, or have tall fences/railings, or are situated such that you can’t look straight down the side of the building.

I’ve also been on many roof decks. Roof decks meant for socializing typically have walls that are at least chest high and set back enough that you can’t see straight down.

Driving over a bridge. I’m in a car and the road doesn’t appear to be close enough to the edge to make me feel like I could fall.

Flying. Sure, turbulence of a certain magnitude makes me a little nervous. My father is a pilot, however, and I have been flying my whole life. I was taught about an airplane’s ability to withstand turbulence at a very young age.

In all of these situations, I FEEL safe.

Therefore, I don’t believe that I’m in danger of falling off or that the structure might break resulting in my plummeting into the void.

My Most Terrifying Moment

November 11, 2018 at the Mutianyu section of the Great Wall about an hour north of Beijing.

How was I supposed to know that to stand on that Wall requires a windy traverse over what certainly was a bottomless chasm on an old rusty ski lift? That part was NOT in the brochure.

Very high? Check.

Ability to see straight down? Check.

Safety bar too low? Check.

Height plus exposure? Check.

Distrust of the structure? Check.

Jumping into the 2-seat, fully open chair and pulling the safety bar down didn’t really phase me. I’ve been on ski lifts before, and although I’ve been uneasy on them, I have never felt terror.

But once we rose over the initial crest, the ground dropped away, and the wind picked up. I was literally frozen. I knew, with all of my being, that the cable on the lift was about to snap.

I believed it with all of my heart. I could picture it, and I kept replaying the moment in my mind.

The only thing that kept me from outright weeping was my lift-mate, and friend, George. My pride wouldn’t let me cry like a baby in front of George. Although it was a struggle.

He was apparently unphased. Turning around, taking pictures, and making the ride even more bouncy. So I literally closed my eyes, tried to pray, and just let George do all of the talking. Thank God he was talking.

Miraculously, somewhere between 5 minutes and 3 hours later, I found myself standing on that wall.

A side note: I don’t regret that fear-filled 5 minutes on any level. The Great Wall is truly one of the great wonders on this planet. I’ve seen the pictures, you’ve seen the pictures, but the only way to appreciate its majesty is to stand on it with your own feet.

I would do it again in a heartbeat, even being fully aware that I will put myself through a most tortuous 5 minutes.

Connecting the Fear to Goals

How does all of this relate to goal setting?

This connection first struck me during a conversation about this fear with my wife. She observantly mentioned that the reason my knees get weak is because I believe it can happen.

It’s in the belief. The ability to picture it happening.

Then it struck me. That’s the same feeling that must be applied to goals.

Whatever goal you set, you must believe it to be attainable.

The problem I’ve had with goal setting is not the system, or the accountability, or the fact that I didn’t give it a date on the calendar (I’ve actually done all of these expertly advised things)…it’s pure belief.

I’ve written down the wrong goal. I’ve written down a goal that ultimately I don’t believe I can achieve.

The ‘A’ in the SMART system means “achievable”. I now think this is the most important piece.

The level of your goals must be in line with your level of belief in yourself to accomplish it. Whether it’s a huge goal like changing the world, or a small goal like getting 4 hours of endurance training in this week, you have to believe you can do it.

If I can’t feel myself attaining it and believe that I can succeed, then its a pointless goal. I will never achieve it.

Application to My Current Work

I’m currently working through a seminar from Seth Godin called “The Marketing Seminar“. It’s been an outstanding and enlightening ride so far.

One of the many moments of clarity that I’ve had is centered on goals. It was actually a lesson on goals plus strategy and tactics.

At first, I did what I usually do and started in the wrong place.

I started with something like “positively impact thousands of people by writing blogs and books, speaking, blah, blah, blah…”

That actually is what I want to do. It’s not an insincere vision.

But I don’t yet believe that I can achieve it. I don’t feel like it’s attainable.

I want to, of course, but it’s not yet believable by myself, for myself. Maybe it’s lack of confidence, maybe it’s the story in my head, maybe its lack of track record. It’s probably all of these.

Given the insight of self-belief, my new goal is something that may seem less ambitious on the outside:

The goal is to find my voice, and subsequently find an audience of any size to help by building community around overcoming the stories in our heads.

I believe I can find my voice. Continuing to write will do that.

I believe I can build an audience that I can help. I’m not worried about the number.

I can feel that because I believe that I’m not the only one. I know that there are others who feel stuck and feel like they have more to give, but don’t know where to start. There are others who have believed the stories that the world sells. There are others who have been telling themselves the wrong stories for a long time.

And now stuck and mediocre is no longer ok.

Setting this goal has made a huge positive impact on my direction and motivation.

A Word About Mission Vs Goals

Your goals are not exactly the same as the mission or the change you seek to make in the world. They are related, obviously.

The mission is something you believe IN. The goal is something you believe about yourself.

String the right goals together, and that’s how you live your mission.

This is where you start: pick a goal that makes you feel just like when you’re standing on the edge of the cliff and you can literally feel the fall.

Whatever you write down on that paper, or put on your vision board, or drop on your calendar better be something you believe you can achieve.

A Bonus

I’ll leave you with this picture. This is me, standing on the observation platform at the top of the Tybee Island Lighthouse in Georgia.

It’s not just a snapshot taken at the right time that makes me look like I’m hugging the structure. I WAS hugging the structure, and I wasn’t letting go.

You could’ve taken this picture of me at any time during the 20 minutes I was up there, and this is what you would have gotten.

You see that railing? It was by no means over chest high. It was possibly 3 inches higher than my waist. I’m surprised that the surrounding ground isn’t littered with the remnants of 5 or 6 people per day tumbling over that thing.

You’re welcome.

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