Regardless of how much you plan, how much up front work you do, or how many alternate plans you put in place, FAILURE will happen at some point. You can’t stop it, because you can’t plan for every eventuality, and you can’t control all variables in all situations, and quite frankly, you are not omnipotent. But it’s our MINDSET and REACTION to that inevitability that defines our ULTIMATE OUTCOME.
Another wonderful nugget of wisdom from John C Maxwell’s “Failing Forward” is that not only will you fail sometimes, but that it’s only a true failure if your mindset allows it to be. If you see the “failure” differently, the way that successful people do, you realize that what occurred was simply a SETBACK or a LESSON on the journey. If you focus on the lesson, to find the diamond that may be in the rough, then like scales falling from your eyes, you see that there was no failure event. To label it as a true failure and as an event…that’s mindset. Change your perspective, and that changes your mindset.
Failure can NEVER be an event or a destination if you don’t allow it to be. Until you breath your last, you are still on your journey to achieving your goals. When this perspective clicks in, it liberates your mind and allows the growth you need.
When you look at the life and careers of some of the most successful people on earth, you will learn that it’s their perspective on failure that ultimately moved them forward.
One of Steve Jobs most notorious setbacks was the Lisa computer. It was an abject disaster commercially, and led to the firing of Steve at Apple. It was a disaster due mainly to:
Technical and engineering problems
Ridiculous cost
Awful marketing campaign
Now, regardless if you are an Apple lover or hater, what would some people say that the perceptions of Apple products are today (or maybe a few years ago):
Excellent engineering
Not the cheapest, but customers don’t mind paying the price
Cool or for “creative types”
These perceptions may or may not be true, but it honestly doesn’t matter. What happened? Basically Steve learned a pile of lessons from the “failure” that was the Lisa. He looked at the Lisa project as a setback, not a failure event, and mined all of the lessons that he could. Then he worked on correcting those issues as he moved forward. And guess what, he didn’t get it right directly after the Lisa either. He got fired from Apple and started NeXT. NeXT wasn’t a commercially “successful” company by itself, but more lessons were learned, and he actually turned it into a great success by selling it back to Apple. All of the engineering that was developed at NeXT formed the core of what would be the new line of Macintosh computers at his new Apple. So was NeXT a failure? Heck no. He was still working through the process of finding the lessons in the setbacks, but he never quit. And ultimately, that’s how its done. That’s how success happens.
If you are looking for solutions to help you live better and achieve your goals, please contact me anytime! I want nothing more than to help you reach your goals!
Spend Less Time Following Other’s Lives, and More Time Leading Your Own
It’s not all your own fault…you know…that crazy and rationalized justification that you HAVE to check your Facebook feed, or you HAVE to check the news (maybe entertainment news?), or you HAVE to see what’s going on with your favorite sports team’s twitter feed.
We have an underlying HUMAN NEED for not wanting to miss something, because that’s tied to our NEED for BELONGING. And the modern technology of today has exponentially improved our ability to be constantly finding out what’s going on in the WORLD.
BUT…these distractions and addictions are killing your productivity (not to mention the breeding of negativity…a topic for another time). They allow your mind to give in to the resistance. They allow your mind to distract itself away from the creativity and progress that needs to happen.
How many times in the last 3 hours have you picked up your phone randomly and looked the news or Facebook feed? Has anything useful come from that? Each time you do that, you lose, on average, 11 minutes of productivity as your mind context switches.
Here’s how you combat it:
Recognize and find YOUR WORLD vs THE WORLD. YOUR WORLD is your circle that includes the things and people that you need to care about to help you achieve your goals.
Setup your technology to give you ONLY the information you need about YOUR WORLD. This means things like:
Turn off notifications from ALL SOURCES that are not directly in YOUR WORLD.
Set up an RSS feed that supplies only the news that matters to YOUR WORLD, and filters out the rest.
Delete (yes, DELETE) the 25 free games you have installed.
Turn off the TV and radio news. Is there actually breaking news every 10 minutes?
You MUST consume information from THE WORLD on your OWN TERMS, not on the terms dictated by the device in your pocket. It’s liberating to free yourself from the shackles of the device in your pocket. It’s a great tool, and use it to leverage and save time, but make it work FOR you by consuming its content on YOUR TERMS from YOUR WORLD.
The bottom line is that you must LEAD YOUR OWN LIFE in order to achieve your goals. The more you get sucked into THE WORLD and what’s happening in other’s lives, the more you can’t lead your own.
So go out there and lead your life!
If you are looking for solutions to help you live better and achieve your goals, please contact me anytime! I want nothing more than to help you reach your goals!
Courage…How to Go Get Some and Overcome the Initial FEAR!
You know that taking action is the answer to getting over the fear. The magic lies in simply doing that of which you are afraid, or doing the things that surround the source of the fear. The action may not be pretty, it may be a winding path, it may result in many failure lessons along the way, but ultimately it is the answer.
Great, we know we need to take action, but we’ve neglected an important question about the very beginning. An important first step to taking that action. That question is: “What do you need to take that FIRST STEP?” What gets our minds over the fear just enough to take that very first action, so that the doing can take over?
It’s like starting a ball rolling across the floor. Newton’s First Law informs us that when an object is at rest, to get it moving, you must apply just enough force to overcome the friction. So we are looking for the mindset equivalent to this force to overcome the friction that results in our inertia.
That force we seek…is COURAGE!! We need just enough COURAGE to outweigh the initial fear. We will never, ever take that first step without having the courage to take it. Once we are moving forward, the doing takes over, but it is courage that gets us started.
So how do we get the courage? Courage is not something that we can just summon. We need to dig and uncover the source of it, and then water the seeds to make it grow. When you dig around the annals of your mind (and in the minds of many successful achievers of the past and present), you find that the source the of courage is…DESIRE!! Our level of courage always rises to match our level of desire. Sometimes there’s a lag, but it gets there…always:
So what does that mean to us? It means, we must raise our level of DESIRE! The secret to gaining the COURAGE to take that first step is to raise our level of DESIRE (of our goal, vision, or dream) above the level of FEAR. That injects the courage into our mindset and allows us to overcome the inertia and take the first step of action. All you need to know about your current situation is that your DESIRE level does NOT currently EXCEED your FEAR level.
How then do we raise our level of desire? OK…before we dive in there, we must take an aside. If you are anything like me, you may be saying to yourself, “But isn’t it selfish or sinful to raise our level of desire? Shouldn’t we be happy with what we have?” Well, that depends, so let’s discuss it.
Here is where I’m going to do 2 things for you:
Take you off the hook for desiring (the proper kinds of goals)
Obliterate one of the biggest excuses that your mind uses
I am truly fortunate, and have many blessings (for some of these blessings, please see the About Me page). Whenever I would feel the fear, I would start saying to myself that I should just be thankful for what I have, and that somehow wanting to achieve or do more was selfish or morally wrong or sinful. But when my current life’s goals crystallized, I started to really wrestle with this concept, and then I started looking around. Here is just some of what I’ve found:
The “fortunate scale” is huge, and there are many below me and many above me
There are many people WAY ABOVE me on the fortunate scale who are still achieving more of their goals…in a good way. These people are not letting there current blessings impede them from continuing to move forward and achieve more goals.
There are many people WAY BELOW me who are grinding to achieve more. They also don’t let where they started, or where they currently are deter their commitment to their goals.
The key for me is that I could find both types of people who still remain grounded, and thankful, and aware of what they have, and from where they come.
You see, I was simply letting fear and resistance get the best of me by using the excuse of, “Just be happy and thankful where you are”. Don’t confuse this with the notion of selfishly “wanting more”. That’s not what I am talking about. Make no mistake of my intention here. When I’m speaking of DESIRE and GOALS, I am speaking of noble desire, not selfish and destructive desire. I’m NOT providing a license to succumb to narcissistic and destructive desires. You know the difference.
So there you go…Your off the hook, it’s OK to raise your level of desire, and the excuse has been deleted.
Back to…How do we raise our level of desire?
This picture is our goal, and here’s how its done:
Focus on that desire: Let yourself dream of it, let yourself envision a time when you have accomplished your goal, understand that this is your desire because you have something unique to share with the world, and do it everyday.
Put it on the calendar: Choose a date at which you will have accomplished your goal, and write it down.
Make a plan to get there: Once you have the vision of which you desire and have set the time and date, now you need to make the plan. Define the mini-steps, the sub-goals, and the other ingredients necessary to accomplish it. If you are looking for help on THE PLAN, I can help. Contact me anytime and we can discuss your customized plan. Once you have done this, you can focus simply on that first step. The problems are now solved, its just a matter of walking the line.
Wakeup everyday thinking about it, and review your progress at the end of the day: Start the day with purpose, and just as importantly, look back at the day and don’t let yourself off the hook. Until your desire, and courage, raise above the level of the level, you will not have taken action…So FEEL the disappointment, and then FLIP that disappointment into resolve to have a better next day.
Here’s what to be aware of at the end of the days before you have raised the courage to take the first step. At the end of another day of not taking that first step, when you feel the disappointment (FEEL IT), your mind is at a crossroads and its going to go one of 2 ways: NEGATIVE or POSITIVE. There is no middle ground. You need to recognize both of these, and wrestle your mind into the positive.
How many times when you are disappointed with yourself, have you said either to yourself, or out loud?
I can’t do this
I don’t want really want to do this anyway
If I do this, ___________ may happen, and I don’t want that
Maybe God doesn’t want me to do this
That’s the FEAR and the RESISTANCE. Don’t let it win. Here’s what you tell yourself:
I will do this!
It’s just a matter of time!
I will commit to being better tomorrow!
How great will it be when I’ve accomplished ___________ !
Keeping your mind in the positive is the key to raising your desire level everyday. Everyday you win the battle of your MIND, you raise your desire. You have to understand that the reason many of your noble goals and desires have shrunk and withered is because it’s 100% self preservation that if you continue on the negative side, and let the fear win, that your mind will lessen the desire. It has to. How could you live with yourself if your desire to accomplish a goal was just under the level of fear everyday, but it never changed? The disappointment would be overwhelming. Know that, and keep it in the positive, and it will keep rising until BANG!
FIRST STEP TAKEN!
Now dig down in there and find those desires, raise them up, and get the COURAGE!
Please connect with me. I want to learn from you and your experiences. Please let me know what you think…
Are You Sluggish or Unfocused During Points of the Workday?
Do you feel mentally sluggish in the afternoon? Is it a struggle to stay focused at a particular point during the day? Do you lose creativity as the day goes on, or even as the week goes on?
Some of this is natural as our brains/minds have rhythms and cycles throughout the day, just as our other physical functions do. BUT…there is a growing body of evidence that suggests that physical activity during the day can indeed help to keep your mind sharper and more creative throughout the day. You can just search Google, or you can find some useful articles on this subject here and here and here.
I am a big believer in this phenomena and have personally received its benefits. I discovered this approach over 15 years ago, before there was much, if any real science behind it.
Training Every Workday
My goal for EVERY workday is to get my physical training in. Many people actually save their exercise, or at least the bulk of their exercise for the weekend. As a physical training strategy, maybe that works to meet their goals. However, I do exactly the opposite, and I do it intentionally. The workdays are when I need to be the most productive and most creative, and therefore, I prioritize my training during the workday over my weekend training. I do try to get training in on the weekend, but if it can’t happen, I don’t stress about it, because my weekdays have usually accounted for the volume necessary to meet my goals (i.e., training for a particular race, etc).
I created the “Pushups to Practice the Slight Edge” accountability group (see this post) for 3 main reasons:
Use pushups to get yourself in the mindset of the Slight Edge
The physical benefits
The MENTAL benefits
What Type of Exercise
Current science seems to suggest that endurance workouts are better for improving mind functionality throughout the day. But “better” simply means better than other physical activity. Pushups or other strength training workouts are heads and shoulders better than no workouts. “Better” in this context is like choosing a Ferrari vs Lamborghini vs Maserati. They’re all great, even though one may be better than another for something in particular.
How Do I Fit It In?
I also realize that many of you are saying to yourself, “There’s no way I can fit exercise into my workday”. OK, maybe that’s actually true, but for most of you, I doubt it. If you prioritize it, you can find time. You can do pushups anywhere (yes, I do them in my office) and it doesn’t take much time. You can go for a walk anywhere, and you choose the time. If you really, honestly can’t get 30 minutes during the day to go for a walk, then you can get up earlier or replace some other entertainment time with whatever training you want. We all have the same 24 hours, it’s just about how you choose to use them.
Your charge is to go ahead and disprove this…and you have to give it at least a week. We’d be honored to have you join the “Pushups to Practice the Slight Edge” group, since every one is welcome. To do so, just send me a message and I will add you to the group.
Do It
Daily physical activity may be just what you need to turn that corner on your productivity during your workdays. However, it’s quite possible that daily physical activity is only one piece to the puzzle to get you truly energized and focused to be your most productive. I also have other solutions for energy and focus, and if you are interested in hearing more, just get in touch with me. I’d love to hear from you!
TIME…do you have enough? Of course not! None of us do. But in reality, we all have the same 24 hours in a day. Why do some highly successful people seemingly have plenty of time? Why can’t you ever seem to find the time? Achieving your goals comes down to how you use those 24 hours to best move you forward.
Time can either work for you, or against you…you choose!
This is the first in what will likely be a long series about time management, and effective ways to make your time work for you, instead of against you.
The very first step on the path to time freedom is awareness. Awareness of how much time you actually spend doing something useful and how much of it is wasted. High achievers obviously don’t have more time, they just use that time more efficiently. How many times have we all heard the phrase: “Work Smarter Not Harder”? I’m not actually a big fan of it as a blanket statement (for reasons outside of the context here), but when it comes to how you use your time, I think it’s a very applicable. You don’t actually need more time, you just have to be smarter about how you use your time.
Here’s an example from a day I had this week:
I had to get an MRI done. The facility was about 30 minutes away, and the test itself takes about a half-hour. In the past (until about a year ago), my time in the car would have been spent listening either to sports radio (I’m in the Philly area, which is the inventor and king of sports talk radio, and I’m a sports fan, so…) or music.
Step 1: I replaced the drive time entertainment in both directions with listening to an audio book (today was “Think and Grow Rich“, you can find it here).
Step 2: I used the time inside the MRI machine as my daily gratitude and affirmations, plus my goals and objectives visualization. The added benefit of this for me personally is that I’m NOT so good with the MRI machine, so the concerted effort to focus on these practices helped keep my brain from feeding the fear.
Just those 2 simple changes gave me 90 minutes of MOVING FORWARD time.
You can do the same thing, gradually over time, and eventually you’ll be finding new and innovative ways to make better use of your time. Start today by picking just one small part of your day that is typically filled with entertainment or something mindless, and replace whatever that was with something that MOVES YOU FORWARD (and by the way, listening or watching or reading the news DOES NOT COUNT as something that moves you forward…a discussion for another day). If its a car ride, find a podcast or an audiobook that has real content. If it’s some other time, find a book or a website that is teaching you something that you need to know to get better at whatever it is that you are trying to achieve.
Get started today! Please reach out and connect with me, via any of the methods found on the About Me page. I look forward to learning from you!
One Powerful Tip for Starting your Day with Purpose
OK, people…this is a “look in the mirror” post. I’m just warning you now. Maybe you don’t want to read on…The topic is our alarm clock, and specifically our relationship with that wonderful, or dreadful, little imp called the SNOOZE BUTTON. What kind of snoozer are you?
There are basically 4 kinds of people, in relation to the alarm clock:
No Alarm Clock Needed: You have trained yourself to wakeup at the proper time, or that time is just natural for your body (or maybe you literally don’t have anything to do, but I’m not talking about you here).
Jump Out At First Ring: Alarm goes, and SNAP!…out of bed.
Single Snoozer: The alarm rings, you open your eyes and purposefully press the snooze bar, and then either just before it goes off or just as its going off, you’re out of bed. Basically, the 1-snooze cycle is really just a part of the wakeup cycle.
Snooze till you Lose: The alarm rings, you growl, or ignore it completely. You bang the snooze bar without so much as opening your eyes (and likely knock some stuff off the bedside stand). What seems like seconds later, it goes again…BAM! And this continues for 3…4 or who knows how many cycles. Then when you actually get up, you’re very groggy and really annoyed that you are indeed up. And somehow, it’s the all the alarm clock’s fault.
Be a Category 1-3
I have been (and likely we all have been) at one time or another each one of these people. Over my life, I have had many different kinds of schedules due to school, work, infants, whatever. Nothing different than any of you. Here is what I’ve found, both personally, and from the achievers from which I am learning:
In order to start your day off on the right foot, and set yourself on the path to succeed for the day, you’ve got be in category 1-3. You do NOT want to be a “Snooze till you Lose-r”.
And here’s why:
If you’ve read my post on How to Have a Successful Day, you’ll see that I am a believer in starting your day intentionally. If you are somebody who falls into one of the first 3 categories, you are starting your day intentionally. Not only that, but you are starting it in the right mindset, and that mindset is: “OK…bring it on!”, which is the proper attitude to make it happen, whatever IT is. If you are stuck in category 4, even after you’ve gotten out of bed, your mind is not awake, nor is it ready for the day, nor is it in any position to help you succeed.
I’m not talking about, nor minimizing the need for your morning coffee or tea or whatever rituals you have that get you setup for the day. Those are likely important also, as long as they are also healthy and pointing towards success. If you are stuck in category 4, your other morning rituals are simply getting your mind into a state that it should ALREADY BE IN by the time you get there. If you like to sit with some coffee and contemplate the day, that’s fine, and could be helpful. BUT…if you started out of bed intentionally, that coffee time is no longer NECESSARY to get your mind straight (maybe still necessary to get you physically ready), and now that coffee time turns into a time when you really are making progress (i.e., gratitudes, affirmations, dreaming/vision imagination, making your lists, etc).
Your Charge for the Week
So here is your charge, you category 4-ers…start this very next monday and intentionally put yourself into one of the first 3 categories. Do it all week, and then evaluate how your week went, and how you felt at the beginning of the days at the END of the week. I think you’ll be glad you did.
How many days do you get to the end of and wonder where it went, what happened, and why nothing of importance got done? You’re just frustrated with yet another day of non-progress. For me, for a long time, it was more days than not. Maybe 4 or 5 days per week were like that. But then I found some keys to making a successful day…and it starts with intentionality and discipline.
The mindset of “Hey, I’m just gonna see what the day brings!” That’s an excellent VACATION mindset, but it’s not so good when you actually have to GET STUFF DONE. You must be intentional, and then you must stay focused on the important tasks. You must fight off distractions.
How is that done? Certainly there are different methods that work, and ultimately you must find what works for you. Here’s the 6-step process that I’ve found works good for me.
Night before: Each day actually starts the night before. I look ahead to the next day, and potentially take action on some things. For example, if I am traveling to my office in downtown Philadelphia, I’m out of bed at 4:30 am and then out the door before 5am (that’s simply to help fight the urge to jam needles in my eyes during the heinous commute). To make that timing work, I prepare my food and gym bag and clothes that I’m going to wear before getting into bed.
Out of bed: Have an intentional time to get out of bed. This allows me to get out of bed with the intentional and focus mindset. Regardless of whether I’m commuting to Philly or not, the getting out of bed with intention and focus is important.
Daily Practices: Before starting the work part of the day, I partake in the following practices for anywhere between 20 and 30 minutes. If I’m commuting, I do this in my car on my way to the office. If I’m not commuting, I do them in my home office by myself:
Gratitude and affirmation: Everyday, I think about and say for what I am thankful. There are so many things to be thankful for, embrace them, affirm them, and then you’re already starting out on the right foot! For me, a good number of these things are the same everyday, but I do also force myself to think of things specific to that day.
Vision and goals: Where am I trying to get to? What are my long term vision goals, and how does today fit into those goals? It’s critically important that you keep your WHY in front of you everyday. Find your WHY. Allow yourself to dream and visualize those dreams. This is what gives you the inspiration to continue. These are the big picture items, like:
Achieving financial and time freedom.
Racing in an Iron Man Triathlon or a Marathon.
Getting healthy enough to get off of all my medication.
Giving $X to my Church or some other organization.
To work on what I CHOOSE to, not on what I HAVE to.
To be able to travel the world.
To be able to feel more confident and in control of my life.
To never have to worry about money again.
To be able to hire a coach or mentor, and invest in myself.
To have more fun and balance in my life.
To create a legacy for my family and my children.
Plan Your day:
Make a list of things that you need to do today that contribute to your goals and vision, and prioritize that list. This is the day’s action plan to get you closer to having the life you want. Prioritize it according to what is most important, NOT WHAT YOU WANT TO DO
Make a list of things that have to be done to just live your life (i.e., like “call the dentist, send email to the teacher”, etc), and prioritize that list. These are the things that have to be done. You may not want to do them, you may despise the thought. But remember that feeling you get when you don’t do them? Don’t let that happen. As with the other list, you must prioritize based on what is most important for that day.
Make sure you plan your fitness…everyday…even if its just walking…do it.
Execute and focus: Now you just have do it. Obviously easier said than done, and we’ll spend many blog posts discussing this important topic. But for now, here’s a few overview things to consider:
If its not on your list, don’t do it. Of course, things pop up all the time that are “important”, and if that does actually happen, then add it to your list. Never assume that if something pops up, that its more important than something already on your list. Be intentional and mindful.
Do NOT multitask!! Focus on one thing at a time and get it done. The average time it takes to mentally reengage on a task when you switch tasks or even allow your mind to wander is 11 minutes. How many 11 minute switching times can you afford? Not many.
Turn off ALL notifications from social media. ALL…turn them off. On your computer, on your phone, everywhere. If social media is important to you, plan a time during the day that you will scan and/or post to social media on your own terms, according to your own schedule.
Review the day, adjust for tomorrow: At the end of it all, its quite helpful to look back and see how you did, and how you can improve tomorrow.
I hope this was helpful, and I really want to hear your feedback. What do you do, or not do, during your day that makes it successful? Connect with me via some way (check out my About me page), and let me know!!
Do you know how IT happened? Do you know how you how and why you got there? Do you simply find yourself somewhere you’d rather not be?
This is how…
One of the great books that I’ve been learning from is called “The Slight Edge”, Jeff Olsen. Check it out on the recommended reading list page. This book contains the secret to the above question. The great mystery is simply, you got there by a series of small actions that you did, or didn’t do everyday, over a period of time. This is the way that Mr. Olsen puts it:
“No matter in what arena, in life or work or play, the difference between winning and losing, the gap that separates success and failure, is so slight, so subtle, that most never see it.”
And what is that gap? It’s the difference between either doing, or not doing simple little actions everyday. These actions are easy to do, and easy not to do. But if you do them, and you do them consistently over a long period of time, you will succeed.
What are these actions? Well, that somewhat depends upon what you are trying to accomplish, but for sure there are certain actions that would apply across the board, for example your health. No matter what you are trying to accomplish, being healthy will be necessary.
It takes daily discipline to implement the Slight Edge. It takes a commitment to do the things that are easy to do, but maybe just a bit easier not to do. You must train yourself to get into the habit and mindset of the daily disciplines.
In order to help you get in the mindset and in the habit of the Slight Edge, how about some pushups? Specifically, 100 pushups…everyday. If you do 100 pushups everyday, at the end of a year, that’s 36500 pushups that you will have done. Do you think having done 36500 pushups will have helped make you stronger? Absolutely it will. But it’s also to help to get you in the mindset…the discipline of doing something that you moves you forward everyday.
It doesn’t matter how or when you do them during the day. It could be 10 at at time across the whole day, it could be from your knees, it really doesn’t matter. But your goal is to move towards 100 in as little time as possible.
So maybe 100 is not the right number for you, maybe it really is too much in the beginning (but then your goal is to get to 100), or maybe it’s not enough. Pick your number, but it’s gotta be a number that’s on the edge of very easy not to do.
Also, this is everyday…it must be. Even if it’s bench press day…it doesn’t matter, you will also do 100 pushups. If you are sick in bed, you will get out of bed to do 100 pushups. That is how success happens.
We’ve setup the Pushups for Slight Edge accountability group on Facebook. If you’d like to be a part of it, please connect with me (see the About me page) and let me know. Or just send me an email. The purpose of the group is simply to post your number for the day, and also its a place where we can discuss health and fitness topics or success principles. It’s a place to celebrate moving forward with the Slight Edge!
What are your fears? I have many, and one of them is heights. My friends and family have many funny stories about me at the top of lighthouses, on zip line platforms, on tall buildings, edge of cliffs, etc. The comfortable approach is to simply avoid the situation to avoid the fear. But how does that move me forward?
I am a runner, and several days a week I am in center city Philly, and I love to run around the city exploring and taking pictures (checkout my Instagram page and account). In my explorations, I often head for the Ben Franklin Bridge, which provides me with 3 excellent opportunities:
From a fitness standpoint, it’s the only way to get on a hill in the city
It’s an endless supply of inspiring pictures
I can face my fear of heights (ugh)
The first time I ran the bridge, I did so simply because I thought it would be cool to run to Jersey and back, which it was. But I had no idea it was so darn HIGH UP!! The walkway is not attached to the road, and it sits kind of by itself on the side. You can get a look at from the picture at the top of the post. As I crossed it the first time, I was near the top of the crest and mindlessly just took a quick peak over the side….oh dear…the knees got weak, got the jelly feeling in my legs (those with this fear know exactly what I’m talking about). I immediately move as far to the inside as I could! I kept going, but for sure I stayed all the way to the inside.
I ran it several more times exactly the same way, but at some point I had this thought: “What am I afraid of? The bridge isn’t gonna fall…I’m not gonna throw myself over the edge”. So the next time, I purposely ran on the outside. I won’t say I looked down or fully soaked it in. I simply ran on the outside, as fast as I could, and I have lived to tell about it. In fact, every time I run that bridge, I do exactly the same thing, and I even force myself to look down and occasionally take some pictures like that. I no longer dread it. It still makes me a bit nervous, I still get that feeling a bit in my legs, but I do it, and it’s gotten better.
Your mind is a funny thing. The emotional half is screaming “NOOOO!!! You’re gonna DIE!!”, but the intellectual half knows you’re fine. To get over the fear, you must transfer the knowledge to the emotion…the conscious to the subconscious. This accomplished by ACTION! Do the things of which you are afraid. It’s healthy, it moves you forward, and it’s the jet fuel on your path to success. Get comfortable being uncomfortable.
Do it this week…do it today. Pick something that makes you physically afraid (like heights), and do it. Stand on the edge of bridge, stand on the edge of your roof, whatever…just do it.
Here are a few of my personal favorite images that I’ve found so far while running that big scary bridge. I would’ve never had the opportunity to capture them if I had not just gone ahead and ran over it:
As always, please check out my About Me page to connect with me. I want to hear back from you! What are your fears!
Recently I was able to meet in person and spend some quality 1-on-1 time with a virtual mentor of mine whom I’ve been following and learning from for quite a while now. It was a “can-opener to the mind” kind of a discussion, and I am extremely grateful. So many nuggets of wisdom came out of that, that it’s likely to lead to blog posts for weeks! However, with this post, I want to share the main takeaway for me.
And that is…to overcome your fear or resistance (which is a form of fear), you must just start doing the things of which you are afraid. You see, the overcoming is in the action. It’s in the doing. Never mind if the circumstances aren’t perfect, or you aren’t 100% ready, or “I just need to wait until…” Just start doing it, and then keep doing it.
By doing the things that are causing the resistance, the hesitation, the fear; we reprogram our mind. The emotional part of our mind follows our actions, so that is how we reprogram. How many times have you found yourself in a position where you aren’t happy (career, relationship, health, etc), but because it’s familiar, you are hesitant to change it. That’s your mind following your actions. You haven’t made a change to the situation, therefore, your mind (I mean the emotional part of your mind) believes the situation is fine and finds solace in the inertia. But we can break out of it by simply taking action. I’m not talking about rash action, nor is this license to indulge your narcissistic dalliances. I’m talking about taking action on a legitimate change in order to improve yourself, improve your family, improve your friends…You know the difference.
So what have I done? Well, my first action is right here. It’s this post, and its this video below. This is my first action, and although I’m dreading the “Publish” button, I’m gonna do it anyway. Because this is the start. Without the “Publish”, there is no change. When this post is first published, will my website look the way I always envisioned? No. Am I content with the About Me. Not likely. Do I have all of my ducks in a row with the backend stuff? Of course not. But here it is.
My main goal with this blog is to add value to your life in some way and get feedback so I can learn from you as well. I want to hear from you…be it good, bad, or otherwise. Please connect with me on social media. You can find links at the bottom of the About Me page. I’d love to hear from you!
