How to Overcome 2 Popular Assumptions About Failure
We have spent several posts discussing failure, and that failure is the key to success. Unfortunately, we seem to be programmed the opposite way. We are programmed to do everything we can to AVOID failure because we have been taught (or maybe its inherent) that failure is bad and we should avoid it. But we MUST reprogram our mindset to EMBRACE failure. Successful people fail their way to success because their mindset regarding failure is totally different from others. They see “failures” as SETBACKs and opportunities to learn and get better.
Here’re two more nuggets of wisdom from John C Maxwell’s, “Failing forward”.
Failure is NOT objective
Failure is NOT the enemy
Failure is NOT objective:
When a “failure” occurs, what determines whether it was actually a failure? YOU! You are the only one who can ultimately label the situation as a failure. That’s because its YOUR perspective and the subsequent action YOU either take or do not take that determines whether it was a failure. Even if the failure was objective on the surface, like a grade on an exam, it’s still not ultimately a failure unless you let it be.
For example, assume you get an”F” on an exam. That grade only results in a true failure if you don’t learn something from it and use it as fuel to move you forward. If you shrug your shoulders, put it out of your mind, and do nothing about it, then yes, it was a failure. Suppose, however, you take that exam and figure out WHY you FAILED, and then learn the information properly. Then you either take that exam again, or maybe you get the same information again on a later exam, and this time you do much better and maybe even ace it! You’ve turned the original “F” into something much better, and learned more effectively along the way.
It’s the same with business, athletics, personal goals, relationships, our trust in the Lord….everything.
A statistic that I find interesting: The average entrepreneur fails at 3.8 businesses before they find success. Do these entrepreneurs consider those first 3.8 businesses failures? Maybe they have even lost all of their money in each of these ventures. However, they’re still at it, still creating new businesses. Why? Because they’ve used the first 3.8 businesses to learn what doesn’t work, or how to improve what they are doing. They failed in only 1 sense, but not ultimately.
Failure is NOT the enemy
This is simply a mindset that we must reprogram. It’s hard because we’ve had [fill in your age] years of programming from our culture. But the reality is that people who see failure as the enemy are captive to those who conquer it. Those that embrace and learn from setbacks are those that are in charge.
When we give ourselves permission to fail, we give ourselves permission to excel. We can excel because we can learn so much more from what went wrong, then if it all went right. Here’s an example from the athletic world. Why do we hold practice? One of the main reasons is so that the players can fail in practice, and then correct that failure before the game. When we do the things that set us back in practice, we can learn to do the things that move us forward in the game.
When you change your perspective on failure, you can change your ultimate outcome.
Please connect with me, and share your ideas on how to effectively learn from failure. We all have different experiences, and we can always learn from each other.
How to be Productively Unproductive to Allow our Mind to Recover
Most of us know how physical training works, and how we get physically better. We engage in cycles of physical work plus rest and recovery. We run 5 miles, and then let our bodies rest until tomorrow or the next day. We do a killer leg workout, and then let our legs recover for a few days before doing that workout again. We know that during our rest and recovery periods, our bodies work to rebuild muscle fibers, restore fluids, and generate more proteins. And these physiological processes result in our bodies getting faster, stronger, and better. The rest periods are just as important as the work periods.
In fact, this recovery works both in short terms (from day to day), and in long terms (across weeks and months). I know from my own experience that if I’m trying to build up to a new distance or get faster over the current distance of running, that I must plan sufficient recovery periods and space out my running work sets across a week according to that plan. And, occasionally, every couple of months, I take a whole week or so off of running, and when I do that, the next time I jump back in, I find that I am usually fresher and faster.
Like with physical training, studies show that we can train our mind the same way with periods of focus, and then periods of recovery. We spend time focusing, then we spend time recovering. As we engage in these cycles over time, our productivity increases, and our ability to focus increases. When these occur, we start to find ourselves with MORE TIME. More time for more recovery, or fun activities, or productive activities. This should be one of the goals of our life: To have more time to do the things you want.
So we know we need to let our mind recover, just like our body, and we need to do on a daily scale, weekly scale, and longer scale. This message focuses on what we do daily to let our mind recover.
When you let your mind rest, you must do it in a way that allows your mind to actually recover so it can focus and reengage when you need it. Again, much like with physical training. With physical training, useful recovery includes proper nutrition and inactivity so your body has the ingredients and time it needs to efficiently rebuild. With your mind, you must find the ways to be PRODUCTIVELY UNPRODUCTIVE.
2 Kinds of Mental Rest
The right kind:
Relaxes
Keeps your mindset positive
Restores creativity
Readies the mind for focus
The wrong kind:
Agitates
Moves your mindset to the negative
Stifles creativity
Keeps the mind from focusing
We’ve defined the right kind and wrong kind by what they DO, but we haven’t really said what they ARE. That’s because the activities that work for you are generally subjective. Your goal is to find the particular types of mental rest that works FOR YOU. We are unique, we are individually designed, and when we embrace our uniqueness, and be honest with ourselves, we are able to find what works best for us.
For example, here are some of the “right kind” of activities for me to be productively unproductive during a day:
Exercise (one of the main reasons I do my best to put my workout in the MIDDLE of my workday). Even if not intense exercise, something physical and outside, like a walk. Outside seems to be important for me.
Prayer / meditation. I start my workdays with this, and it’s very focusing. This is actually an activity that requires focus (whereas most of these are the opposite of mental focus), but I include it in this list because I think it is one of the best ways to get my mindset correct for the day.
Checking off some of the more mindless activities on my daily task list. Maybe there’s some appointments to schedule or rearrange, or some errands to run, equipment to connect/disconnect, etc. Disengaging onto these tasks not only helps my mind recover, but its also works off the task list!
Any online resources (videos, blogs, etc) or books or podcasts that provide some learning value (NO NEWS!). You may be saying, “Hey, I thought these were activities that were mental breaks”. Its true, but I’ve found that if I switch gears at the end of a focus period, or the end of my “workday” to learning on a separate (but possibly related) topic, this is very helpful. My mind still seems to be able to recover quite well and the changeup is welcomed. Kind of like doing an endurance workout in the morning, and then training upper body strength later in the day. Complimentary and useful.
Music, playing or listening.
Sometimes lunch or coffee/tea out of the office. I normally use my lunch time for exercise and eat lunch that I have brought with me in the office, but sometimes I just need to get out for a bit.
And yes, sometimes some very mindless entertainment such as a little Angry Birds, Philly sports (simply watching the games, not engaging in the diabolical world of the drama of the teams), cat videos, or anything with some humor 🙂
Here are some things that I have given up (or do my best to resist) because I have found that they are the “wrong kind” of activities for resting my mind:
Sports radio. Way too negative and provocative. That, of course, is its purpose. It does the opposite of relaxing me.
Sports websites, twitter feeds, etc. Ditto.
News of any kind (to be fair, other than sports news, I’ve never been much of a news guy, so this was easy for me)
Social media (although I do usually check this at points during the day, but I don’t scroll and engage)
Engaging in the typical workplace and life drama conversations
Reading purposefully inflammatory blogs, forums, or websites
Those are just some ideas from my world. What are yours?Find the “right kind” and eliminate the “wrong kind”.
Conclusion
Your mind needs a break just as your body does, so its important to give it some rest. However, its just as important to give it the right kind of rest. Find your best method for being “productively unproductive”.
Please connect with me, and share your ideas for the “right kind” and “wrong kind” of mental rest. We all have different experiences, and we can always learn from each other.
Here’s one thing you can do today to help this day and every subsequent day be more productive.
One of our fundamental human needs is to feel useful, and here are 2 things we allow ourselves to succumb to feed that need:
We let others schedule and invite us to way too many meetings, on their terms, rather than ours.
We engage in the time and productivity sucking practice of “MULTITASKING”. At least, multitasking in the form of trying to use the same part of our brain to do more than one thing at a time. Resistance and the Instant Gratification Monkey LOVE multitasking, and the great technology we have at our finger tips are the weapons of their trade. When we attempt to multitask on tasks that use the same part of our brain, we are simply just causing each of the individual tasks to take longer and have less quality, because we are less focused on each.
Multitasking, and the ways we can effectively use it, and the ways that it absolutely kills our productivity will be the subject of many of posts here. This post, however, focuses on some things you can do to help fight this urge and to help you take back control of some of your time…At least those of you who’s work typically includes meetings.
Does this sound familiar?
You’ve risen for the day with purpose. Mindset is right. Gratitude and affirmations are complete, and you’ve made your list of tasks for the day, one or two of which will require your creative effort and you’re looking forward to them. Now you’re looking to get started crossing off those items on the list. You are feeling especially creative today.
You look at your calendar to schedule those focus + recovery periods and….whamo! You realize that there is NO time today to schedule a proper focus period. You see a 9am meeting till 9:30, then a 10-11:30, then a 12:30-1:30, and 2-3. Ugh…none of these meetings are related to the things you need to get done.
What to do? Well..I’m going to release you right now from the noose of productivity killing meetings 🙂
It comes down to 2 concepts. I have implemented these 2 concepts in my own life, and I can absolutely vouch for them. One is empowering, and the other is a simple discipline that leads to more time efficient meetings (and it rubs off on those around you):
RESPECT your own TIME by being the MASTER of your own TIME
NEVER MULTITASK during your meetings
Respect Your Own Time
All this means is YOU be the MASTER of your own TIME. YOU be in charge of YOUR SCHEDULE. It’s your time, act like it. If you see a tough day or week of scattered meetings ahead that won’t allow you get things done, see how you can change, shorten, or remove those meetings in a fashion that will allow you to schedule and keep contiguous blocks of focus time during your day.
Step 1: Decline/remove all meetings for which you are not presenting information, or directly receiving useful information. Always, always, always question the requirement for you to be at a meeting. If you have been invited out of courtesy, and you won’t be receiving useful information, decline it. If you’ve been invited because, “We might need something from you”, decline it and ask to be called/messaged if that does indeed occur.
Step 2: For all meetings at which you are actually required, always make sure they fit into your schedule in a way that allows you to be productive outside of the meeting. Your focus times should be at least 60-90 minutes in length. Even if you are only trying to get one good focus time in a particular day, make sure the meeting times support YOUR window. Propose new times for those meetings that don’t work for you.
Step 3: Always seek to shorten the meeting length. I’ll discuss this further below, but suffice it say, most meetings are twice as long as they need to be simply because the attendees are trying to do multiple things during the meeting, rather than just focus. If the meeting request is for 60 minutes, see if the organizer will shorten it to 30 minutes.
OK, you may be thinking to yourself, “But what if my boss….”, or “I don’t want to miss….”, or “The customer ….”, or “We have a regular group meeting…”
You boss will never respect your time if you don’t first. Most bosses will respect you more if command it. Respecting your own schedule is a start.
You must decide what is important in YOUR WORLD, and ignore what is not. This does take some discipline, but you have to recognize that just because you go to a bunch of meetings, that does not make you more important than somebody else. The most important people, whether they are employees or entrepreneurs, are the ones that get useful stuff done. The boss knows this, and if you are entrepreneur, well…if you don’t get stuff done, you don’t make money.
Sometimes your customer does demand a particular meeting with your presence for a particular time. That doesn’t mean that you can’t attempt to fit it into your schedule. It’s a negotiation.
You likely do have regular daily, weekly, monthly, or quarterly meetings with a regular group. You may or may not contribute at each of these, but you presence is required. OK, so be it. But see below….DON’T MULTITASK. Be present.
The reality is that sometimes, you will still find yourself attending meetings on somebody else’s schedule, and on topics that aren’t that beneficial to you. But the point is, you can minimize these. You have the power, you just need to wield it.
Never Multitask during Your Meetings
Multitasking (again, referring to using the same parts of your brain) is a top 5 productivity killer. Just ask any ACTUAL successful person. They will tell you focusing on one thing at a time is all your brain can actually do, therefore, enhance that ability by allowing it to focus on one thing at a time. So don’t do it…If you are in a meeting, whether it is face-to-face or virtual, be fully present in the meeting. Don’t work on other stuff while you attend the meeting in the background.
Here’s the great thing about changing your own attitude and approach to being present during your meetings: This absolutely rubs off on those around you, and in the end, it creates more efficient and useful and shorter meetings! Shorter and more focused meetings are beneficial for everyone. If you show up to a physical meeting with no laptop, and your phone is put away, and then you engage the other members…they will do the same. Maybe not right at first, and maybe not that first meeting, because they also have fallen pray to the same human needs the you have. But they will. If you lead by example, that’s as good as demanding their attention. And as time goes on, you will be known as one who demands focused meetings.
You also need some personal integrity here. Let’s say you’re on that monthly town hall, but you are in listen only mode. Well…you are there because the person who is holding it thinks the information he/she is presenting should be known by you. Respect that, and the person, and don’t multitask. Be present.
Summary
Try this out for one week. Take next week and decline/reschedule your meetings so that your days will work for you and your ability to accomplish the things you need. And then, make sure you are fully, and singly present at the meetings that are useful or necessary.
This is a phrase that most of us use all the time. I, myself, have been using it since I was a toddler. It’s such a part of our normal every day conversations that we likely don’t even recognize it. Until a few months ago, I never recognized it; when i said it, when my kids said, or really when anybody said it. BUT…It’s DEADLY. What I’ve learned is that this phrase stabs our mindset right through the heart. The more we say it, the more we think it, the more holes it pokes in our heart. Our heart can only take so many holes before it just gives in.
It’s such a simple phrase…only 2 english words. Are you ready???
“I Can’t”
That’s it…Now think back on your day, and think about how many times you said or heard this? A bunch, right? Each time that phrase came out of your mouth, or whomever said it, your heart was pierced and your subconscious mind took a step back.
Successful people have learned to control their subconscious mind, because that’s where desire and the subsequent action are born. The subconscious mind knows nothing of reality and it’s trivial hurdles that it presents. The subconscious mind simply knows what it DESIRES, what CAN BE, and what it will be like when it’s ACCOMPLISHED it. Successful people never think that it can’t be done, they simply start taking action on ways to get it done.
How many times do you think people, even his own engineers, told Steve Jobs: “You can’t”, or “We can’t”? Literally 1000’s. And what was his response? Steve’s got 2 great, famous quotes that deal with this deadly phrase:
Don’t let the noise of other people’s opinions drown out your inner voice. The one’s who think they are crazy enough to change the world, are the ones who do
Napoleon Hill’s classic Think and Grow Rich, includes a great story about Henry Ford. Mr Ford imposed a requirement on his engineering team to produce a particular type of 8-cylinder engine, because that was what his vision REQUIRED. Time and time again, his engineering team told him that they couldn’t, that it was impossible. He kept insisting and sending them back to drawing board. Guess what? It took time, eventually, they did it. He never let, “I can’t” deflect his subconscious mind from making it so.
You MUST take control of your subconscious mind, and one of the ways you do that is by controlling your self-talk. So let’s start with this simple phrase of “I Can’t”. How do we stop ourselves from saying it and ultimately banish it from our vocabulary.
Step 1: Awareness. Tomorrow, or today if you are reading this early in the day, pay close attention to how many times you hear people say it. Pay attention to when you say. Write the number down. You may even find that you catch yourself before you say it, simply because you are aware. Make a mental note.
Step 2: Find substitutes that are positive, but are still accurate. Now start to really be mindful of using it yourself. Start with tomorrow, be explicitly aware of NOT using the phrase. You may fumble around for words, and may even sound a bit ridiculous, but don’t say it. Say things like, “I don’t presently know how to”, or “I’m not sure I know how to yet”. Or whatever may be appropriate.
That’s it…just start there.
I love to hear your thoughts and struggles with this phrase and other deadly self-talk phrases. Comment below or connect with me and send me a message.
Now we know what our goal is, and we know we need to take the action, and we know its going to take raising our level of courage above the level of fear to take that action. But what actually kick starts this whole process of traveling the ROAD to SOMEDAY? Our mindset may still be thinking of this goal in wistful “someday” terms. The mind is NOT going to act on some wistful thought. The mind needs it be real, it needs to believe it’s real. Let’s make it real….
Put that goal on the calendar and then make the action plan to get there!
Once you’ve put it on the calendar, made a plan to get there, then you can start doing the little things everyday to get you there…nowyou are applying the Slight Edge!
Until we’ve committed our goal to a date, we can’t make a plan of action, which never allows our mind to switch into action mode. If our mind believes the goal is just a wish, it has no real interest in doing the work of overcoming the fear.
Today’s home work…
Write the goal down and put it on the calendar and put it in the comments here.
Then start working out the plan to get there
It could be a fitness goal, like a marathon, or a big financial goal, like becoming financially free. It doesn’t matter what the goal, what matters is the concreteness of giving it a date and making a plan. Sometimes you arrive at this date out of necessity (i.e., I’m losing my job on MM/DD/YYYY, and therefore, I must have another plan for income by that date, or the marathon is on MM/DD/YYYY, therefore, I must be ready by then), or maybe its out of desire (i.e., I wish to financially free by my 50th birthday).
Once its on the calendar, we work on the plan, and then we work on overcoming the fear by applying the Slight Edge everyday and working that plan.
Sometimes, your goal does not lend itself to a date, because it’s really “from now, until forever”. In this case, what you do is put the date of having the action plan on the calendar. Then you start working the action plan on that date.
For example, one of my goals is to add value to as many people as I can in the 6 areas of total life health:
Physical
Emotional
Relational
Mental
Financial
Spiritual
This is definitely a “now, until forever” kind of goal. So for me, the “put it on the calendar” action was putting the date to have the plan on the calendar. Then I started working the plan. These videos and these blog entries are a big part of that action plan. I am working the plan.
As always, I love hearing from you. Hearing your thoughts on these topics helps me learn and hopefully translates to adding more value. Connect with me on any of the platforms.
Do you know your purpose? Have you run out of steam trying to find your purpose? Have you relegated your “purpose” to something that involves beer or golf during those water cooler sessions? Have you simply gotten run over by everyday life and have just lost sight of what your purpose may be?
Here’s what you need to do: Get yourself back on track, and start thinking about it again! We have all been created uniquely, and we all have some kind of purpose and ability to make an impact on this world. This world needs you to recommit yourself to finding it!
Maybe you find yourself in a moment in your life where those thoughts are so buried that you can’t even remember what they were. I’m hoping these are some tips to get you started back in the right direction. Certainly, your ULTIMATE PURPOSE may be bigger than can be determined by a few simple tips, but to get started, you’ve got to get the mind going. Hopefully, this is that start you need. It doesn’t matter what your age, or what stage in life you are in. It’s never too early, nor too late. It is ALWAYS the perfect time.
Why find your purpose?
It’s the big vision purpose that gives us the inspiration and motivation
Your purpose helps raise your level of desire above the fear
It allows you to drag yourself through the daily grind and setbacks
What is the #1 thing you need to do to start? DREAM….Start dreaming again about would could be….what might be….what would be AWESOME if…You see, if your mind has the seeds of those dreams, then your mind can make them happen. The dream plants the seeds.
Now, when the seeds are planted, or even if you are having trouble finding the dream, here are the 3 tips to get you kick started:
Find the right people. Find and get around people who, in your view, have great purpose and great desire and accomplishing the same kinds of things that interest you. There is a well-known saying that goes, “You are the average of the 5 people with whom you spend the most time.” Find those people who will make you want to be better.
Don’t be satisfied with status quo. If you know there is more that you should be doing, don’t be satisfied. When you get to the end of a day without progress, feel the disappointment, for just a bit, and don’t let yourself off the hook tomorrow. This DOES NOT mean, however, that you are to look past the blessings you currently have. You should ALWAYS, everyday, be very grateful for where you are. This is the key to healthy forward progress…Know and be thankful for the starting place.
Find that which excites you. You know what these are, or at least you can find them. You may have to scratch and claw and dig back into time, but you can do it. Find those things, and then visualize yourself having accomplished them and enjoying the rewards.
For me, I made the discovery some time ago, that adding value to others is one of my purposes. These thoughts were born in my teenage years, and fully developed as a youth group leader and sometime mission worker through my adult years till now. The days where I had worked my body till it was exhausted, but for the purpose of helping others, was the most satisfying and purpose-recognizing work I’ve ever had the fortune in which to be involved. And sometimes it wasn’t back-breaking physical work, but mental and emotional work for the same purposes…and the same results ensued.
I honestly don’t know where it all will lead, nor what the entire end result looks like, but I know it involves these posts and these videos and it also involves the entrepreneurial adventure that I’m on.
Please connect with me, and leave me your thoughts. I would love to hear your journey, and the purposes of your life.
Are you trying to go from “Couch to 5k”, or maybe your trying to jump from “Sprint Triathlon to Half”? Are you overwhelmed with the number and variety of training plans available and recommended?
Here’s what you need to know in order to choose: If you are trying to go from nowhere to somewhere, or from somewhere to somewhere longer, here’s what I hope will be a useful way to think of how you must train to get there. Armed with this knowledge, you will be better equipped to choose the proper plan. This information is meant mainly for those that would consider themselves beginners, or intermediates.
I’ll start with an analogy that has been helpful for me. It goes like this:
Think of your cardio system (heart and lungs) as the engine of the car. The engine provides the energy necessary to run the car for the period of time over which it runs. The fuel that it requires to keep it running for the length of time is directly related to how much work it must do for that length of time.
Think of your legs, arms, and core (i.e., your skeletal and muscle systems) as the drive train of that car. The drive train converts energy produced by the engine to forward motion. The health of the drive train is directly related to how many miles have been driven.
When you are training for a particular event, there are tons of different plans that may seem very different from each other on the surface, but when you look at them closer, they likely do share a common theme. That theme is:
The engine must be trained to go for the length of time
The drivetrain must be trained to go for the distance
One important area where they differ, is the emphasis on either the length of time, or the distance. And this is part of the critical knowledge you need to pick the proper plan.
Some background…
Your cardiovascular system must be trained to produce the required energy to move your body for the entire time period of the race. Why the length of time? Because the length of time equates to the amount of energy that your cardio system must produce. If you are running a 5k, maybe your goal time is 10 minute miles. For a 5k with 10-min miles, that’s about 30 minutes. You are training your cardio system to produce the required energy for 30 minutes.
Also, your engine needs the proper fuel to produce the energy for that length of time. If you ingest the proper nutrition, i.e. fuel, your engine will work more efficiently and you will FEEL BETTER. As you get more “in shape”, your engine will work more efficiently, and actually crave higher quality fuel. Think of a race car vs a family sedan. Race cars use high octane fuel, whereas your standard family sedan is running on whatever is produced by the cheapest setting at the corner gas station. If you are looking for guidance on the proper fuel (i.e., nutrition), I can help you with that.
Your bio-mechanical system, i.e. your appendages and core, must be trained to take you the distance. The act of running (or swimming, or biking, or skipping, or whatever) produces a toll on your muscles, tendons, ligaments, and cartilage that is in direction proportion to the distance that you are traveling. Why the distance? Because the distance equates to the number of movements and compression and expansion cycles. Regardless of the length of time it takes you to get from point A to point B, the number of movements/compressions/expansions is the same for you (ok, right…technically, if you are running vs walking your gate is different and it will likely be less steps than walking, blah, blah, blah…you get the point). So you’re training your drive train to withstand the wear and tear over the distance. If we use our 5k example again, maybe you will take approximately 2000 steps per mile for a total of about 6000 steps. You are training your drive train to handle 6000 step cycles, and all of the compressions, expansions, and blunt force traumas that are inflicted with those 6000 cycles.
When you look at a “good” training plan, you will likely see somedays coach you to go for a particular time, and some days coach you to go for a particular distance. This is because you must train both the engine and drive train accordingly. BUT…most plans skew in a particular fashion. Some favor length of time, and some favor distance.. In either case, as you move closer to race day (usually 1-2 weeks prior to race day), you SHOULD see that your plan includes at least one distance workout that is roughly close to the race distance and at least one timed workout that is roughly close to the race time.
Here’s an example of a couch-to-5k plan that favors engine work, but I would consider “good” because it has both:
You see most of the workouts are specified in terms of length of time, and just one that specifies a distance. There are days where you are using your engine for 30-35 minutes, and just one day where you are running 3 miles.
Here’s an example of a couch-to-5k plan that favors drive train work, but I would consider “good” because it has both:
Most of the workouts are specified in terms of distance, and there is one specified for time (although a walking time, not a race running time).
Why is all of this important to you? Because it will help you pick the proper training plan. We are unique and individually designed and we are all starting from a different point. Regardless of your present fitness level, you are likely to currently either have a better engine, or better drive train. Find out whether you are starting from a place where your engine is better or your drive train is better, and then pick a plan that will skew towards training whichever piece is farther away from the goal.
How to Eliminate One Giant Brain Suck and Fight the Negative Mindset
If you do nothing else, here is one practice that will immediately:
Help you focus
Eliminate a major distraction
Help you fight the negative mindset
Eliminate the news! At least all of the news that is not part of YOUR WORLD.
Here’s what I mean…
There are all kinds of news platforms: 24-hour general news channels, news programs on broadcast channels, sports news, entertainment news, financial news, and yes…Facebook and Twitter and the like, which are really just a form of news feeds. There is so much news today that we could literally be plugged into multiple sources 24-hours a day. Well, other than what is important to you in YOUR WORLD (i.e., what is immediately related to you business, or your family, or your special interest, etc), the rest is keeping your from being your best.
Why so harsh? Why do I recommend you simply eliminate the news? Here’s why…
You must first be aware, which I’m sure most of you are, of what is the PURPOSE of the news. Quite simply, the purpose of the news is no different than the purpose of any other type of programming, such as music, and sitcoms, and Facebook, and Twitter etc: It’s purpose is to attract more viewers, or listeners, or readers, or users because that leads to higher ad revenue. Now of course, generating revenue is not a problem at all, that’s just business. That’s what makes this great country go around and makes much of that content free to consume.
However, the 2 reasons that I recommend you eliminate the news that does not directly apply to YOUR WORLD are:
The great majority of news is very negative. Businesses are good at generating revenue, and being good at generating revenue means they have become very good at providing content that people want. And for whatever reason, we seem to be wired to be attracted to the negative. Therefore, the news providers are simply providing what we want…the negative.
It’s an easy distraction. In our constant and never-ceasing war with resistance (check out The War of Art) and the Instant Gratification Monkey, our human need for belonging stabs us with the spears of “it’s important that I know what’s going on in _________”. That’s just a tactic that resistance uses in its battle campaign, people! Recognize and acknowledge it, and deflect it with your shield of “elimination”.
How do you eliminate the news? Do the following things at least during your focus periods during your day. In reality, I think these are things your should do always, but at least start with during the focus periods.
Never have the 24-hour news station on in the background (TV or radio)
Cancel the newspaper, or don’t buy the newspaper
Turn off all notifications from your “news” apps…yes, even Facebook and Twitter
Recognize the Instant Gratification Monkey and fight him in his desire to steer your ship towards scrolling through the “feeds”.
Don’t tune into the news programs or visit news web sites.
On your commute, listen to a podcast or audio book instead of the news program.
You may be saying to yourself, “I can’t do that, there are certain things that I must know about”. OK, that may be true, certainly if some of this information applies to YOU WORLD. But, you MUST look in the mirror here and really separate YOUR WORLD from THE WORLD. Obviously, if your business is a financial advisor, it’s likely that you have stay plugged into financial news of the day.
And here’s a touchy one…”I MUST be looking at Facebook/Twitter/Whatever all day because I have children in school and I NEED to know if something happens at that school.” Well…here’s my opinion. If there is something that you NEED to know, you will be notified. You will find out if your son or daughter is sick, or if there is an emergency that affects your children.
Here’s how you check yourself: Don’t be the first to know!
If you get a phone call, or text message from a friend saying, “Did you hear _______?”, and that’s the first you knew about it…EXCELLENT JOB. You are doing it right. If the follow up is, “I can’t believe you didn’t hear about ________, it was all over Facebook/the news/the internet”, AWESOME! Give yourself a pat on the back.
Don’t be the first to know! It’s actually quite liberating. Do you really think there is Breaking News every 10 minutes that you need to know about?
Please comment on this post, or connect with me and send me your thoughts.
They are inevitable, so don’t beat yourself up. It happens to everyone, even the SUPER ACHIEVERS. Some days just don’t work out, for whatever reason. Maybe you let the fear get the best of you…maybe you let the Instant Gratification Monkey win the day and you toiled in the Dark Playground…maybe you did or said some things of which you are not proud. It honestly doesn’t matter.
What matters is what are you going to about it so that the same thing doesn’t happen tomorrow? You see, it’s only if these kinds of days begin to string together, or they start to out number the “good” ones that progress becomes stunted.
We are human, and even though progress and achievement of your goals is indeed a CHOICE THAT YOU MAKE, we all are on our own path. You have to find (and sometimes fight with) your inner voice, and find your path. The point is: only YOU make the CHOICE to put yourself on the path. The direction of YOUR PATH is likely to have taken some twists and turns, once you look back on it.
Some of those twists and turns are due to unproductive, or just plain depressing days. Here’s what is critically important…
It’s YOUR MIND, and you have to take ownership of it, and you have to make sure it is working for you. As long as your mind is staying on the positive side, the unproductive days don’t pile up, nor do they string together. Here’s what you do:
Look around you, and be thankful. Gratitude is the key to keeping you grounded and when you understand how lucky you are, you can stand on that and move forward
Review the day at end of it, and let yourself briefly feel the disappointment.
Make the decision right then that tomorrow will be different, that you will correct whatever it was (didn’t take action due to fear? Said something you regret? Focused on the wrong thing? whatever…)
Now allow your mind to visualize the end of tomorrow and you having made the correction. Visualize and feel the accomplishment. Put yourself in that place and feel it.
Go to bed with resolve, and remember that when you wake up, “Today’s the Day!”
Make it happen!
I made mention above of the Instant Gratification Monkey. I found him, and his cousin The Panic Monster on a site called www.waitbutwhy.com. If you are bit cynical, enjoy some dry humor, and maybe just a bit condescending, check it out. He weaves a tapestry of psychology, truth, science, rhetoric, awesome stick figure art, and fair bit of wit. I will be referring to more of his stuff over time.
I want to hear from you. Please comment on this, or connect with me here, and send me a message. I love hearing other’s stories and viewpoints to inform my own.
Are you having trouble taking that first step? Do you get frustrated at the end of every day because you, yet again, have NOT taken action?
Here’s the answer:
Allow yourself to keep dreaming! Allow yourself to envision what it would be like having accomplished that goal! In your mind, put yourself at the point in time when you have made it…when you have finally reached the goal. Dream about it and enjoy it! Visualize the congratulations that you will receive from others, or finally being able to say to someone, “Yup…did that”. Or maybe the goal is giving money or time or something else to somebody else. Visualize the handing over of that check, or showing up to the event. Visualize the look in their eyes when you do it.
Let’s take a concrete example of a goal to run a marathon. Here’re are your steps:
Put a marathon on your calendar. No matter how far away you are currently from being able to run a marathon, pick the right time for you (maybe its even next year), and physically write it on your calendar.
Sign up for that marathon. Find one locally, or even better, make a destination out of it. The destination approach does 2 things: 1) it makes it fun to think of going to whatever location you have chosen, and 2) if you’re family is involved, that brings immediate accountability (you see, that’s sneaky accountability coaching gold right there).
Regardless of when your training plan says you will start…you will start TOMORROW. Even if its not necessarily doing the activities on the training plan, you will start doing something to get in the mindset of training. So before you go to bed this evening, you will tell yourself that tomorrow is the day. The Slight Edge starts tomorrow.
When you wake up tomorrow, you will announce that “TODAY is the DAY!”. Make your plan first thing in the morning to start your activity that day, and resigning yourself to go do it.
What happens when you get to the end of tomorrow and you have taken that first step? CELEBRATE! You are on the path, now keep going.
Now, what happens when you get to the end of tomorrow, and you have NOT actually done your activity? This is the key moment, and the moment that defines if you’re on the path to success…KEEP DREAMING! Keep visualizing having run the marathon. Focus on how great it will be once you have crossed that finish line. Then tell yourself that you start TOMORROW and go to bed. Wake up the next day and announce, “TODAY is the DAY!”. Rinse and repeat, and then all of a sudden, BANG, you’ve taken that first step.
OK, that marathon example is easy to see and easy to plan, but let’s get real. Let’s find what you’re goals should REALLY be. You have a unique gift, and unique talent, a unique skill set that you have been put on this earth to use. LET’S FIND IT. This world needs you to find it…you need you to find it…I need you to find it.
Here’s how you do it. Think back to another time to when you weren’t afraid to dream. When you said to yourself, “Someday…” Well, THAT’S what you need to do. That’s the gift that you can give this world. Uncover that dream…dig it up…and start to water it. Do you know why you had that dream a long time ago? Because you can do it…you have it in you! You’re mind knows you can do it. Now get out there and DO IT!
